


Playing in Your Court

by wapaksoccet13



Category: Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sports, Basketball, Debate Team, F/F, Journalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 01:27:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8777620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wapaksoccet13/pseuds/wapaksoccet13
Summary: Laura Hollis is a senior at Silas University, preparing herself for the post-university life.  Her life juggles school work, a job as an English TA, being a prominent member of Silas's Debate Team, and heading the sports section of the Voice of Silas as the lead reporter.  As her senior year starts, how will Laura be able to adjust to her assigned team's newest transfer player, Carmilla Karnstein?





	1. August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the beginning of the new school year!

“Are you going to take your nose out of that book anytime soon, Laura?”

Laura Hollis looked up from her book, _Journalism Next_ by Mark Briggs, to her friend Danny Lawrence. “It’s a good book.”

Danny rolled her eyes, contemplating how she had come to be friends with a book worm like Laura.  They were currently walking through the middle of Silas University’s campus towards the basketball arena, Hastur Arena, named after one of the founders of Silas University.  It was the week before classes were to begin, and already Danny found herself swamped with preseason practices.  The mid-August breeze felt relaxing, even if the wind was rustling the pages of the book Laura was desperately trying to read.  Tired of having to fight the breeze, Laura huffed and closed her book, sliding it back into her bag.

Laura and Danny had known each other since freshman year of college.  They were each other’s first roommate, and they had just clicked.  Their friendship only evolved as Danny, a literature major, would proofread Laura’s essays, and Laura, a journalism major, helped Danny find compelling sources for her papers by using her vast knowledge of varying articles.  To have a roommate so willing to help out with assignments took a lot of stress off of the basketball player’s shoulders.

“Ready for your last year of college basketball?” Laura asked, her hands digging into her pockets.

Danny nodded. “Yeah.  I heard we’re getting in a new transfer player, and today’s her first day practicing with us.”

Laura nodded, looking up at the arena as they got closer.  It was the largest arena in the conference, a regular venue for tournaments, concerts, and differing types of celebratory events.  From Laura’s understanding, it had been built off of a very large donation to the athletics department, and it showed.  Laura didn’t understand the sport very well, no matter how many times Danny tried to explain it, but she found that she enjoyed sitting in the stands waiting for her friend to finish practice than sitting in her room, alone and bored with her thoughts.

Walking into the arena, Laura waved to Danny as she made her way towards the bleachers, her favorite sitting spot on the second floor of the arena.  It allowed her to catch a higher vantage point of their practices when she was bored but also allowed her to be by herself to catch up on her reading or her homework, whichever was more prevalent at the time.  Today, it allowed for her to catch up on her reading, her intention to be ahead of class in her reading already starting to settle in.

Being on campus so early had its perks but also its downsides.  She was able to enjoy walking around campus in the warm weather without having to worry about anyone else around her breaking her from her observations, but she still enjoyed walks with her friends.  She knew most of her friends would be back the following week, but it was just Danny for now, and the ginger was way too busy with basketball to really do anything social.  She lived off campus, allowing for the freedoms that dorms had torturously put her through for the first couple years of college life, but she felt cut off from all the social life that the campus held.

Laura sighed as she took her regular seat in the middle of the stands. _This is just going to be a great senior year.  I can just tell._

Practice went on as usual.  Warm ups, running drills, passing drills, shooting drills, and the list went on.  So did the practice.  Laura watched them for the first ten minutes before returning to her read of _Journalism Next_.  It was an interesting read as to how journalism was needing to adapt with today’s modern thinking and technology.  Laura vaguely paid attention to the tweet in the background and continued to read.  It wasn’t until about ten minutes and two chapters later that she heard a group of the players gasp.

Curious as to what the commotion was about, she looked up to see majority of them paying attention to two players, one of which she saw was Danny.  They had moved onto one-on-one drills by the looks of it, and Danny was up against a player Laura didn’t recognize.  If she were to stand straight up in comparison to Danny, Laura was sure she would be just slightly taller than her friend’s shoulders; the player’s jet black hair was pulled back into a pony tail.  She stood in front of Danny, slowly bouncing the ball in front of her as she stared intensely at Danny.  It was the first time that Laura realized how frustrated Danny looked.  She was one of the best players on the team, rarely having to put an effort into the game outside of tournament time, but it was obvious she was angry and frustrated.

It was then that Laura found out why.  The other player took a slight step to the right before cutting hard back to the left when Danny went to shift her weight onto her left foot.  _Damn was she fast._ The player shot past Danny and for the basket, easily tipping it in.  The other players on the team were clearly amazed, some going over to the player to speak their approval.  One of the players, _Mel if I remember correctly_ , walked over to Danny with a water bottle.  Danny angrily took it from her, taking a drink as she looked over towards the other player.  Laura stood, making her way down the bleachers towards the court, intending to join Danny, when the opposing player turned around.  Laura felt as if her heart stopped for a moment.

_For the love of…she’s so beautiful._ Laura could’ve sworn that she was going to pass out if she didn’t stop staring for the sheer beauty of this girl was breathtaking.  She quickly adverted her gaze, sliding her book back into her bag as she moved closer to the court.  When she reached the floor, Laura looked up, only to find the other player turning her head towards her, causing Laura’s heart to start to quicken its pace.  _Shit…she’s looking towards me.  She’s looking towards me._ It was when she heard Danny start shouting that she knew the player’s attention wouldn’t be focused on her.

“Think you’re some top shit, don’t you?” Danny practically yelled.  _Danny, please don’t start anything._

“Never said I was, Xena.  I do know I’m better than you seeing as you couldn’t even defend a cut,” the player responded, taking a step towards Danny.  _PLEASE don’t start anything with Danny._

Danny started to take a step forward, but Mel and one other player held her back.  A third intervened as the coach looked their way.  The opposing player smirked as she was led back towards the locker room.  Gauging by how the rest of the players were quick to pack up their things, it looked to Laura that practice was over.  She looked down at her watch.  _Well, at least they ended early today._ She sighed, heading towards the hallway outside of the court closest to the entrance to the arena.  _Hopefully Danny’s cooled down._ Stopping by the water fountain, Laura took a drink, checking her bag as she leaned back.  Satisfied that she hadn’t left anything in the arena, she turned towards the entrance only to walk right into someone else.

“Oh sorry!  I didn’t mean to-“ she began to say, hands raised up, when she focused on who it was she ran into.

It was the player from earlier, her hair out of the pony tail and flowing over her shoulders.  Her bag was over her shoulders, a motorcycle helmet and keys in her hand.  She smiled at Laura. “Hey, it’s no big deal.  I wasn’t paying attention where I was going, so that’s on me.”

Laura stood, frozen in place and unable to talk.  Her brain locked up as she stared at this young woman.  The player looked at her confused, looking to say something, when Laura heard a familiar voice coming towards them.

“I hope you don’t plan on making some new smart remark to my roommate, Karnstein,” Danny said as they approached the two.

It was then that Laura finally found her voice, waving her hands frantically at Danny. “No, no, no!  I accidentally ran into her, and I should’ve been paying more attention-“

“Cupcake, I already told you it was no big deal.  I wasn’t paying attention either,” the player, Karnstein, said with a smile, motioning towards Danny. “I’d be careful though with this one, though.  May have your hands full.” She moved towards the front doors, giving a mocking salute towards Danny. “See you later, Xena.  Try to have some fun.”

Danny and Laura both watched Karnstein leave before Danny turned her attention to Laura. “What was that all about?”

Laura looked at Danny. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?  I mean, what the hell was that all about?  For one thing, you were staring at her dumbstruck, and two, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen you speechless!”

Laura raised her hands defensively. “I don’t know!”

Danny shook her head, walking towards the entrance of the arena with Laura fast on her heels. “And Cupcake?  Really?”

Laura could only groan.  _What a way to make a fool of myself._

* * *

 

Laura found herself sitting underneath a tree, a stack of papers sitting on her bag next to her.  She leaned her head back against the tree and closed her eyes.  It was the end of the second week of school, September just around the corner, and she already had a bunch of papers to grade as her English professor’s TA.  It was a great idea in the long run, getting a little extra money along with having something to read when she wasn’t doing her own homework, but she didn’t count on how much work it would take up. 

The first week of classes went by smoothly.  No homework, a chance to transition nicely into the last year of college, and a relaxing setting.  It also helped her find out who Karnstein was.  She was surprised to find the young woman in her philosophy class, a notebook in front of her as she wrote out in an elegant writing style.  When she looked up at Laura, it was as if the world around them paused.  Her smile felt like a fire igniting in the bottom of Laura’s stomach.

_“Well, I wasn’t expecting to see you in here, Cupcake,” she said._

_Laura swallowed. “My name’s Laura.  Laura Hollis.”_

_The young woman smiled, holding out her hand. “Carmilla.  Carmilla Karnstein.”_

_Laura nodded, taking Carmilla’s hand and shaking it.  She motioned towards the desk to Carmilla’s right. “Is this seat taken?”_

_Carmilla shook her head. “All yours, Cupcake.”_

Laura shook her head.  She didn’t know why, but just the thought of Carmilla sent her stomach tumbling in every direction it could.  Placing the paper she had just graded back in her bag, she packed up the rest of the papers and stood up.  It was getting closer to 4:30, and she had a dinner meetup to go to.

The walk to the Silas Student Center, the main eatery for Silas University, was a quick one.  Laura wasn’t a slow walker, so the walk was a quick five minutes long.  Entering through the south side doors, Laura’s head was on a swivel as she searched the cafeteria.  The two redheads that she was searching for were spotted near the Starbucks on the right side of the cafeteria.  Laura rolled her eyes as she made her way over to them.

LaFontaine and Lola Perry were caught up in what seemed to be a heated argument when Laura approached them. It wasn’t unusual in all the time that she had known the two; LaF, a biology major, was always looking to be scientific into their approaches to life, no matter how weird their subjects seemed to get, while Perry was the less scientific busy body who was always worrying about the safety of those around her, making her the perfect example for an resident advisor. Laura didn’t catch what they were discussing but knew she was about to be pulled into it when LaF’s head popped up to focus on her.

“Laura, please tell Perry that it is NOT a weird construct to be testing one’s own blood for any signs of future diseases that we have yet to come across,” LaF said with a huff, crossing their arms over their chest as they heavily stared at Perry.

Laura raised her hand slightly to speak, only for Perry to interrupt. “LaFontaine, that is the definition of weird!”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes it is!”

“Alright, enough!” Laura shouted, effectively shutting both of them up.  They both looked at her wide-eyed. “No, LaF, it is a weird thing to be testing your own blood.  And Perry, yelling at each other doesn’t help convince someone that something’s not weird.”

The two of them continued to stare at Laura before LaF finally spoke up. “What’s got you all worked up, Frosh?”

Laura sighed, taking a seat next to Perry. “I wish you wouldn’t keep calling me by that freshman name,” she said, rubbing the sides of her head. “And I don’t know really.  Can we just go eat?”

Perry nodded. “Yeah, sure Laura.  We can go get dinner.”

Laura stood up with them, and it was then that she saw her.  Carmilla was on the other side of the cafeteria with what looked like other members of the basketball team.  Laura looked down quickly and started to walk quickly towards the food court, praying that Carmilla wouldn’t see her.  She could hear LaF and Perry hurry after her, and she no doubt would have to explain her recent behavior to them, but right now she just wanted to get something to eat and to focus on something other than Carmilla.

“Hey Cupcake, wait up!”

_Shit._ Laura stopped at the nickname, turning to see Carmilla walking towards her.  Her punk style clothes seemed to compliment everything about Carmilla’s mood when she was around others, but when she was talking with Laura, it was as if another person came out.  It made Laura feel something, but she wasn’t quite sure what that something was just yet. “What’s up?”

“So we have that project due in a couple weeks for Dr. Tormen’s class, and he said that we could partner up.  Would you like to do that?  Save us half the trouble of all that research,” Carmilla asked.

_Don’t do it.  Don’t do it.  Say no._ “Oh, yeah, sure.  That sounds great.”  _Damn it!_

Carmilla smiled that smile that made it feel like Laura’s legs were going to fall out beneath her. “Awesome.  We can plan something out after practice today,” she said, adding a quick wink before returning to her teammates.

Laura sighed, turning back towards LaF and Perry, who were both grinning like school children at her. “What?” she asked cautiously.

“Someone’s got a crush on a certain basketball player,” LaF teased.

“Do not.”

“Do too,” Perry added.

Laura sighed, pushing past both of them to head towards the lines.  _Great.  So wasn’t planning on falling for the new girl this year.  Yay senior year._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome, Creampuffs and all!
> 
> I just couldn't stay away from doing another Hollstein work. If you follow me on tumblr (libs1317), you know I've been hinting at this work for a couple weeks now. We'll here it is! I plan on uploading it in two different sections. Ten chapters are planned with an epilogue serving as the eleventh and final chapter. 
> 
> Leave kudos and the such, or find me on tumblr and let me know what you think about the new work!
> 
> And remember to keep it Kinda Classy.  
> -Soccet13


	2. September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the games begin.

“I swear this project is going to be the death of me.”  


“No it won’t.”

“Yes it will!”

“Then stop laying there and complaining about it. This is why we became partners.”

“But it’s so boring!”

“You’re the philosophy major; this is supposed to be what you’re going to make a career out of!”

Carmilla leaned her head back to look at Laura. They were currently in Carmilla’s room, hammering out the final details of their partner project for Dr. Tormen’s philosophy class on the topic of freedom. They had narrowed down the scope of their thesis to whether people choose correctly or not if given the freedom to choose. For the past two weeks, between Carmilla’s practices and when Laura wasn’t working on the university’s student-run paper _The Silas News_ , they had met up at Carmilla’s apartment to work on the project.

Carmilla was laying on her bed, laptop on her thighs, while Laura sat at her desk next to the bed, scrolling through different articles that Carmilla couldn’t read from her current position. The partnership had started off weird, Laura choosing to be a bit distant with their initial interactions, but as they started to move deeper into their research, everything else seemed to follow suit. Laura was a lot more open with Carmilla, including her into other activities with her friends when they weren’t working on their project. Danny, which Carmilla had started to address as Xena quite often both on-court and off-court, was the only one of Laura’s friends that didn’t seem to approve of their new-found friendship. This didn’t bother Carmilla much; as long as she could put up with the girl during games and the limited interactions when she hung out with Laura, Carmilla was fine with Danny having an issue with her.

“I never said I wanted to make a career out of this. It was just the most interesting and easiest of the majors when I was getting into college,” Carmilla said, her head still hanging upside down.

“Then what do you want to do when you get done with college?” Laura asked, leaning back against her chair as she turned her attention to Carmilla.

Carmilla sat up, setting her laptop on her bed beside her. She swung her legs around, leaning up against the wall behind her. She hadn’t really thought about what she would be doing this time next year, graduated and all. Would she be playing basketball? Would she have a job? Would she be happy with her life? All of these options, all of these questions, and there was so much more to ask and find.

“Earth to Carm, hello? Are you still with me?” Laura asked, waving her hand out in front of Carmilla’s face.

Carmilla blinked, looking at Laura. “Sorry, what?”

Laura looked at her concern. “Are you ok? I lost you for a minute.”

Carmilla nodded, a smile on her face. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, I promise,” she said, waving off Laura’s concern.

She could tell by the look on Laura’s face that Laura remained unconvinced, but Laura went back to her laptop. Carmilla watched the blonde before returning her attention to her own laptop. On the screen were two browsers, one showing the upcoming women’s basketball schedule and one showed the debate team’s upcoming schedule. Carmilla pulled her laptop back onto her lap, scrolling through the two schedules. There weren’t any conflicting days, but Carmilla made a mental note of the days that she would be gone for the tournaments.

“So, I’m thinking that we split up the presentation, one doing one half of the argument, the other doing the other half of the argument, and at the end we bring it together to state what our opinion on the matter was,” Laura suggested.

Carmilla looked up from her screen, having only caught onto the last part of the suggestion. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

They sat in the room in silence for a few minutes before Laura’s phone alerted her to a text. She looked down at it, reading it quickly before a sigh escaped her lips. Carmilla quirked an eyebrow at the sigh, watching as Laura stood up to start packing up her things.

“Everything ok?” she asked, her eyes still on Laura.

Laura shrugged. “Don’t know, really. Will probably find out when I get back home.”

Carmilla furrowed her brow, setting her laptop on her bed. “What’s going on? Do I need to come with?”

Laura shook her head, smiling. “No, no, it’s ok. I got it.”

“You sure?”

Laura rolled her eyes, throwing her bag over her shoulder. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ll text you when I get home.”

Carmilla nodded, watching as Laura left. It was when she heard the front door close that she released the breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding. If Carmilla was honest with herself, she had been like this since Laura first came into the room, hell into her life. She didn’t know why, but the journalism major made her feel…different. That was the only way she could actually describe the feeling that seemed to flow freely inside her whenever she was around Laura. She had crushes before, hell she had been in love when she was younger, but this was the first time she had felt like this.

Carmilla shook her head, moving her laptop away from the edge of the bed as she stood up. _No, Carm, no. You are not in love with her. You are not in love at all. For one, she’s not even into you like that. She’s just a friend. That’s all she is. Just a friend._ Carmilla made her way down to the kitchen, silently berating herself for even thinking of such things in the first place. She had just met Laura; it was wrong on so many levels to even think that the girl was like herself. She was beautiful and caring enough to find a boyfriend eventually if she got herself away from controlling people like Xena.

A knock on the front door startled Carmilla; she wasn’t expecting any more company for the rest of the night. _Laura must’ve forgotten something._ Carmilla made her way towards the front door, opening it to find Ell standing in the doorway with two containers of Chinese takeout. A smile was on the girl’s face, a slight blush to her cheeks.

“Hey. I was hoping that you were home and not doing anything tonight,” she said, holding up the two containers.

Carmilla chuckled, a smile on her face. “Actually, I wasn’t,” she replied, stepping to the side. “Why don’t you come in?”

* * *

 

Carmilla leaned over, her hands on her knees as she looked up at the clock. _Fifteen seconds._ She looked towards Ell, who was busy defending the opposing point guard. A swat of the ball sent it towards Carmilla. Realizing that her opponent had too slow of a reaction, Carmilla jumped at the opportunity, stealing the ball away and careening towards the other side of the court. Looking up towards the shot clock, Carmilla realized she wasn’t going to be able to get a decent shot off in time. 

Cursing herself for not being faster, Carmilla stopped almost immediately and threw up a shot ten feet away from the three-point line. It felt as if the entire world around her went into a slow motion as she watched the ball glide through the air, the shot clock behind the net ticking down to zero. Carmilla prayed that she had gotten the shot off in time; by the looks of the crowd’s reaction, she had. She felt her breath build up inside her chest as the ball made its way towards the rim of the basket, the horn signaling the end of regulation sounding in the background. The ball hit the back of the board, the front of the rim, and made a swoosh sound as it went through the net.

The arena went from a silent watch to a thunderous cheer as the crowd erupted around her. Carmilla stared up at the scoreboard, oblivious to her surroundings until her teammates knocked into her, sending her to the ground with a smile on her face. They cheer and yelled congratulations in her ear, the sounds of their voices barely registering as the crowd around them continued their thunderous cheers with the band playing the school’s song in the background. When they had finally gotten their says in, her teammates moved off of her, helping her to her feet. Carmila knew she was going to feel so sore from the sudden tackles, but she felt as if she was on top of the world.

She laughed with her teammates, even Xena joined in surprisingly, as they made their way towards the locker room. She sat through Coach Lilita Morgan’s speech, Athletic Director Baron Vordenburg’s congrats, and even additional cheers that came from her being named player of the game. She smiled as reporters asked her all kinds of questions afterwards in the post-game conference. This was what she went to college for, what she played basketball for. To be seen as successful, as accomplished. It may have been only an exhibition game, one of several leading up to the season-opening tournaments, but she was able to showcase that she was one of the best at the beginning of the year. This was where she wanted to be.

She took off her jersey, tossing it into the laundry bin. Grabbing her towel, she made her way to the showers, ready to wash off all of the sweat that had dried on her body following the game. She was running her hands through her hair, washing the shampoo out, when she found herself thinking about Laura, wondering if the young journalist had been to the game tonight. Thinking back to the woman’s dislike for sports, she doubted that she had. She sighed, feeling a slight pain in her chest. She shook her head at the thought. _Stop it, Carmilla. We’ve already been through this. You can’t be thinking of her like that. You don’t want to ruin your friendship with her because you’ve started to have feelings for her._

Carmilla groaned to herself, turning the water off and grabbing her towel. She changed into her shorts and t-shirt, the thought of curling up on her bed with her laptop already an imminent thought as she moved back to her locker. It had been a while since she had binge-watched a show on Netflix, the idea sounding better with each passing moment. As she got closer to her locker, she was surprised to find Ell waiting nearby, a smile on the point guard’s face as Carmilla walked over to her.

“Have a good shower?” she asked.

Carmilla shrugged. “Best after the evening we had. Something up?”

Ell moved over to her left, allowing for Carmilla to go through her locker to get her belongings. “Doing anything tonight?”

Carmilla shook her head, tossing her things into her bag. “No plans for me tonight.”

“Why don’t you come out with me then?”

Carmilla looked at Ell. “To where?”

Ell laughed. “It’s Friday night, Carm. Bars, bars, and more bars.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “I’m not a big bar-hopper.”

Ell closed Carmilla’s locker door for her, leaning up against it. “But you’re going out with me, and I always have a good time when I go out to bars. Come on, Carm. You never know ‘til you try it, and I promise I’ll show you a good time if you come with me.”

Carmilla looked at Ell, biting her lower lip. “I don’t know, Ell.”

Ell smiled, taking Carmilla’s free hand in hers. “Come on, Carm. You know you want to.”

Carmilla bit down a little harder on her lip, feeling her cheeks start to heat up at the touch of Ell’s skin against her own, even if it was just them holding hands. “I…I guess I’ll go.”

Ell pumped her fist into the air. “Yes! You won’t be disappointed!” she shouted as she pulled on Carmilla’s arm towards the exit.

Carmilla chuckled softly as she grabbed her bag, shaking her head as she followed Ell out of the locker room. _What did I just get myself into?_

* * *

 

_God…my head…what the hell did I do last night?_

Carmilla groaned, covering her head with her pillow as the world around her felt like it was spinning so fast. She remembered going to the bars after changing back at her apartment to a more appropriate style, according to Ell. She remembered hopping from bar to bar, enjoying a few of the drinks that Ell would get for her. Because of her lack of a bar experience, she didn’t know what drinks were good, so she had allowed for Ell to make the drink selections throughout the night. It was only now that Carmilla realized it had been a mistake to allow that.

Feeling that the spinning was finally slowing down, Carmilla slowly started to sit up, her hand going to her forehead. _Never letting her do that again, that’s for sure._ She looked around the room, finding that she was at least able to toss her shoes off before crawling into bed for the well-deserved and well-wanted sleep that her body called for. Picking up her phone, she sighed heavily when she saw the mass amounts of notifications that had been left on her phone. Going through majority of them, she found that they were all referencing pictures that had managed to make their way onto the Internet from last night.

There were pictures of Ell and others. There were pictures of Carmilla and others. Then there were pictures of Ell and Carmilla together; some of them were innocent pictures, smiles and hugs. Others were selfies of them kissing, more than likely Ell’s doing. Carmilla ran her hand down her face at the sight of them, not knowing if she should be excited about them or just down right embarrassed. She had never been that drunk, and she was regretting what this would mean for her future.

It was then that she decided to look through her text messages, finding that Laura had left her a message in the wee hours of the morning. She didn’t know why, but Carmilla felt her heart skip a beat when she opened the text. She knew it wasn’t going to be anything special, but for a moment, she wished it had been.

**_Laura: Hey, saw the pictures. Be careful out there, and let me know if you need me._ **

_Always looking out for others._ Carmilla felt a bit better knowing that Laura was looking out for her safety at least.

**_Carmilla: Just woke up. Sorry if I worried you._ **

It only took a few minutes for Laura to respond.

**_Laura: That’s fine! Did you have a good time at least?_ **

**_Carmilla: I think so lol. I don’t remember much of the night, unfortunately._ **

**_Laura: Make sure you get some fluids in you then. Got to go; practice is in a couple minutes. I’ll text you later tonight. Meet up same place as usual?_ **

**_Carmilla: Sure. I’m buying this time!_ **

Carmilla caught herself smiling, causing her to shake her head. _No, you can’t fall in love with her. You know you can’t._ She could feel the sinking feeling start to rise in her stomach, torturing herself with the thought that she wouldn’t ever be able to tell Laura how she really felt, even if they had only known each other for about a month. It was then that Ell’s picture came up on her phone, signaling an incoming call. Carmilla stared down at her phone for a moment before answering, a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is out! Thank you to all those who left kudos and subscribed to this work. You are all wonderful, and I absolutely love seeing how many people have already read the first chapter. Make sure to follow me on tumblr!
> 
> Remember to keep it kinda classy!


	3. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when your crush becomes involved with someone else? You brood.

Laura felt sick to her stomach, pushing her container of Chinese food away from her. She could see them from across the cafeteria, and with each passing moment, she felt worse. Perry and LaF were talking about upcoming topics in the next debate team practice, but all Laura could do was focus on them. How could she not? It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been falling slowly in love with Carmilla Karnstein over the past two months. _Nothing like that at all._

Carmilla and Ell had been dating for the past two weeks, and they were very public with their relationship. Always holding hands, always looking for a moment to steal a kiss, just as they were doing now. _Sure, it would’ve been cute if one half of the couple wasn’t a controlling, abusive bitch._ Laura was with Carmilla a lot; she could see the changes in her behavior, and she’d caught a few of the bruises on her sides. They were carefully hidden away on her abdomen to avoid the press or anyone else to notice, but it seemed that when Carmilla was around Laura, she would relax a little and allow her friend to see glimpses of her relationship with Ell. When Laura would voice her concerns, however, they were brushed off.

_“I’m ok, Laura. I promise. I know you’re looking out for me, but I promise I can handle this myself,” Carmilla said with a smile._

Yet, it wasn’t that smile that Laura was used to seeing on Carmilla’s face. The way she spoke, the slight shiver in her voice, wasn’t the way that Carmilla usually spoke; it lacked the friendliness, the warmth. The Carmilla that Laura knew, the one she had been slowly falling in love with, would leave shivers down Laura’s spine whenever she spoke, especially on a topic that she was so passionate about. The Carmilla that was present was someone else. It frightened Laura to see how much Carmilla was changing before her eyes.

“Laura, everything ok?” LaF asked, breaking Laura from her thoughts.

Laura looked at LaF, a smile on her face. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” she lied, knowing full well that what she was feeling was not alright.

“You’ve been staring over at them for about fifteen minutes, Laura. What’s going on?” Perry added, the worry on her face finally edging away at Laura’s last walls.

Laura sighed. “I don’t know really.”

LaF smiled at their friend. “You’ve so got a major crush on her, don’t you?”

Laura’s eyes widened, her hands coming up defensively in front of her. “What? No I don’t!”

“You don’t what?” Danny asked as she pulled out a seat next to Laura.

Before LaF could intervene, Laura quickly changed the subject. “LaF thought that I got 100% on that partner project I did with Carmilla for my philosophy class, and I was just telling her that I didn’t,” she said, noting Perry’s quick smack of LaF’s leg under the table. _Note to self: thank Perry later._

Danny nodded, taking a bite of her sandwich. “You two were working on it for a while, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you did get 100%. Did you check your grades yet?”

Laura shook her head. “I’m trying a new thing this year where I’m not always checking my grades. I’ve got it mapped out for a weekly check, and I’m trying to wait until Friday to check them. Should help with the anxiety.”

Danny rolled her eyes, playfully shoving Laura. “Go ahead and check, Laura. Your anxiety’s already going to be a problem, just as it always has. You never know. Maybe LaF was actually right for once.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!” LaF shouted at Danny.

Laura rolled her eyes at LaF before reaching down into her bag and pulling out her laptop, setting it down on the table in front of her. Her computer was always slow to start up, an older model that her father had bought for her at the beginning of her college career. Unfortunately, the wait gave her enough time to look up towards in Carmilla’s direction. She was attentively watching Ell talk with her friends, but it was as if Carm wasn’t there to Ell. Laura could see her asking her friends about input, but she wouldn’t even give Carmilla a moment to speak. Laura watched as Carmilla’s hand would go to rub Ell’s arm, but that arm would violently be yanked out of reach. A shot of pain ran through Laura’s chest that was quickly followed by anger. _That fucking bitch. There’s Carm-_

“Earth to Laura,” she heard Danny say, breaking her from her thoughts.

Laura blinked, turning her attention back to Danny. Her friend was pointing to the laptop, the log in screen visible on the screen. Laura typed in her password, pulling up her Internet browser, but remained silent. She could feel her friends’ eyes on her, but she didn’t want to speak to them. Her emotions were already flaring in every direction imaginable, and she didn’t want to risk an outburst, especially a public one. Quickly, she clicked through various pages until the grades for her philosophy class came up. She clicked on the link for her presentation grade and felt her heart stop.

**_Presentation: 100 %_ **

**_Ms. Hollis and Ms. Karnstein,_ **

**_Excellent presentation! The topic was well researched, and the presentation held a grip on your audience. The chemistry between you two was well evident, and I look forward to seeing any future partner projects between the two of you. Keep up the great work._ **

Laura’s eyes kept rereading the third sentence over and over, feeling as if her eyes were betraying her. _‘The chemistry between you two was well evident.’_

“So what did you get?” LaF asked, leaning forward on their elbows.

Laura stared at the screen for a moment before looking up at LaF. “100 %.”

Whatever was said next fell on deaf ears. Laura’s attention turned towards Carmilla’s direction, her heart pounding against her chest. She didn’t care who saw her. Her focus was on the one person who made her feel as if she was on cloud nine whenever she was near; the one person who seemed to cut through every last defensive wall Laura would throw up around her heart. Even professors who didn’t know them very well could see how well they were with each other. Yet the walls went back up and the cloud disappeared when Ell’s arm wrapped itself around Carmilla’s waist, pulling her closer as a smile crept up onto Carmilla’s face.

_Worst. Crush. Ever._

* * *

 

Best part about being the school newspaper’s lead reporter for the sports section? Getting into the games for free with a front row seat to both the game and news conferences soon after. Worst part? Getting front row seats to your currently-taken-not-interested-in-you crush. 

Laura sighed, running her hand through her hair as she stared at the screen of her laptop. She had spent the past couple hours trying to type up her article for _The Voice of Silas_ , the school’s newspaper, with the Lady Vampire’s latest win being the main article of the sports section. Thankfully, her mediocre photography skills had produced at least produced a great picture to be featured for the article. It showed Matska “Mattie” Belmonde running across the court, fist pumping in the air as Carmilla and Ell ran after her. The win was their fourth, making this their first season to start a season 4-0 in twenty years. They weren’t favorites to win, but they were surprisingly a lot of viewers.

Laura smiled at her picture before turning her attention back to her article. Usually, it was easy to write articles like these for the newspaper, but tonight she was having trouble focusing on the article. _Hell, I’m just having trouble focusing in general._ It all had to do with Carmilla of all people. Her hand and ears helped her take down the notes, but her brain had been focused on Carmilla all throughout the game and the news conference. She laughed when she made jokes, smiled when she made eye contact with her, and silently fumed when Ell planted a kiss on Carmilla’s cheek, which only sent Laura into a tumbling mess of confusion. She knew she didn’t have any jurisdiction on the matter; Ell was the one dating Carmilla, not her. Yet she couldn’t help the anger that built up inside her every time she saw Ell with Carm, knowing what was going on behind the closed doors of their relationship.

**_SNAP!_ **

Laura blinked, looking down at the mechanical pencil in her right hand that was now snapped in half.

“You alright there, Hollis? You don’t usually go breaking things,” Laura heard Danny say as she came back into Laura’s bedroom.

Laura sighed, dropping the pencil on the desk beside her laptop. Laying her head down on arms on the desk, she said softly. “I don’t know. I really don’t.”

A soft clink sounded as Danny set a cup down beside Laura, the smell indicating that it was hot chocolate. “Want to talk about it?” Danny asked, the squeak of Laura’s bed telling her where Danny had taken a seat.

“You’re going to think it’s stupid.”

“No I won’t.”

“Yes you will, Danny.”

“Laura, I cross my heart that I won’t think whatever you’re currently dreading isn’t stupid.”

Laura looked over at Danny, who smiled and made an imaginary cross over her heart. Laura sighed, sitting up and turning her laptop so that Danny could see the half-written article and picture up on her screen. Danny looked the article over, turning her attention back to Laura once she was finished reading it. Her puzzled expression told Laura that she was still waiting for an answer.

Laura laid her head in her arms, mumbling her answer.

Danny leaned closer. “Excuse me?”

“I’m…crushing hard on Carmilla.”

It was silent for a moment, causing Laura to peek over her arms towards Danny. She was met with a look of disdain and disappointment. Laura immediately buried her face into her arms, regretting her decision to say anything. She felt Danny’s hand gently rest on her shoulder, but Laura didn’t move her head. She knew what Danny was going to say, and she didn’t want to hear any of it. She knew how she felt; she knew she would never get a chance. She didn’t need anyone repeating what she already knew.

“I’m sorry, Laura. I wish I could help,” Danny said softly.

Laura’s head popped up. “Wait what?”

Danny smiled softly. “I know what it’s like to have a crush on someone and they not know anything about it. Maybe it’ll pass; maybe it won’t. If you want to talk about it, I’m open ears.”

Laura stared at her friend, mouth slightly open. “Danny, I-“

Before Laura could say anything else, the front door bell rung. Both women looked towards the direction of it then back at each other. Laura wasn’t expecting anyone to be appearing at her apartment, and by the looks of it, neither had Danny. She got up and walked to the front door, checking the peephole. She gasped, opening the door quickly to find Carmilla standing with a small smile on her face. It had begun to downpour, and Laura ushered her in quickly, not wanting to keep her standing out in the rain.

“Carmilla, what are you doing here?” she asked after she closed the door behind them.

Carmilla pushed back her hood. “Came to see what you were up to, Cupcake. Did you hear we got the only 100 % in class?”

Laura’s feigned innocence, eyes widening to show her fake surprise. “Seriously?”

Carmilla smiled, causing Laura’s to skip a few beats. “Seriously.”

They stood facing each other in silence, smiles on their faces. Everything around them seemed to disappear, and Laura could feel her heart start to race at the silence. She had begun to notice how much more alive she felt whenever Carmilla was around. How much her heart started to beat more; how she felt as if she was on a high whenever she heard Carmilla speak. This was the feelings she wanted to hold onto.

“If you’re not doing anything, I was wondering if-“ Carmilla started to say before a familiar throat clearing broke the silence.

“Well, well. If it isn’t Ms. Broody.”

Carmilla turned towards Laura’s room, where Danny was leaning against the doorframe. Laura watched the happy expression turn sour as Carmilla focused on Danny. It felt as if it was a punch to the gut to see how quickly Carmilla’s mood would change when someone else had her attention. It happened with Danny, and it was worse with Ell. _It was as if she was another person whenever one or the other was around her._ She watched as Carmilla and Danny have a staredown before Carmilla turned her attention back to Laura.

“I have to go.”

Laura felt her stomach drop. “Carm, wait-“

Carmilla wasn’t waiting. She quickly pulled her hood back onto her head and left the apartment. Laura watched as she made her way to her black car, the style matching Carmilla’s personality. _Fast, black, and memorable._ After the screeching of the tires died, Laura turned her attention towards Danny. Danny held her hands up at the angry glare Laura sent in her direction.

“What was that for?” Laura demanded, stomping past Danny towards the kitchen.

“Laura, I didn’t-“

“Yes, you did mean to do that! She’s my friend, Danny. I wish you would act like it like you do with everyone else. She’s not a terrible person; you just keep making her out to be one!”

The two of them stood in silence for a moment. Laura was still fuming, and Danny knew better than most that when Laura was calmed down then she would speak again.

“Ell’s abusing her,” Laura said, breaking the silence amid the pressure building up in her chest.

Danny blinked in confusion. “What do you mean?” she asked, moving over to Laura.  
  
“I’ve seen the bruises, Danny. Carmilla brushes my concern off, but I’ve seen them.”

“Are you sure they aren’t from the games or practices?”

Laura turned to face Danny. “You’d see them on her arms and legs then, Danny. You, of all people, know how aggressive she is during games. These are concentrated spots on her ribs, spots where no one will realize they’re there until she shows them.”

Danny frowned. “Why are you telling me this, then? What do you want me to do?”

Laura threw her hands up into the air. “I don’t know! I want to help her, but she keeps brushing me off!”

Danny took a step in front of Laura, placing her hands on her shoulders. “Laura, calm down. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll talk with her about your concerns, ok?”

Laura looked at Danny, nodding and hugging her friend. She tried to relax, even after Danny’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that was deep down in her stomach. She was worried about Carmilla. She was worried about what would happen next. Frankly, she was just plain scared. She couldn’t pull herself to think any farther into the thought of Carmilla getting seriously hurt, but she couldn’t see any way as to help her. Above anything else, that was the one thought that was tearing her apart. She couldn’t help Carmilla, and it was eating away at her.

She sighed against Danny’s chest. She had to find a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> To deter any concerns, please remember that this is a Hollstein work, and it is endgame. Thank you for the kudos and such! Make sure to stay tuned to my tumblr for any updates that happen in between chapter updates; I try to update my tumblr every Friday.
> 
> Enjoy the holidays, whichever one you may celebrate, and remember to keep it kinda classy!


	4. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are you most thankful for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter does start to get into some minor domestic abusiveness. It is a part of the overall story, but I have written it to keep it as minimal as can be without affecting the story too much. If this is a trigger for some of my readers, please let me know, and I will rewrite this chapter as a second version to be posted as soon as possible.

Carmilla stared up at the night sky as she relaxed on the roof of her apartment, repeatedly tossing the basketball in her hands into the air above her in a passing motion. It was a clear night out; the stars shone brightly, and a light breeze blew through the air. It was a perfect atmosphere for someone who couldn’t fall asleep. Especially one who had too much on her mind to let her body get the rest it so desperately needed that night.

The Silas Lady Vampires were off to their best start in thirty years at 8-1. If you asked Coach Lilita Morgan who was the most responsible for the change, she’d give credit to her team overall. If you asked any of the players, they’d tell you to look to the senior leadership. If you asked a fan, they’d give you one name: Carmilla Karnstein. She was the transfer sensation, the born leader that could help turn a team around. Scouts for the WNBA were already booking seats for the rest of the games, hoping to see what this wonder was all about. Young children would see her around Silas, stopping her to get her autograph every chance they could. It was everything that Carmilla wanted when she chose to go to college for basketball instead of pursuing a career in art. So why did she feel as if she was empty?

Maybe it was her personal life, the rollercoaster that it was. It had been a month since she and Ell had started dating. It started out fantastic, everything she had hoped for in a relationship. Then the hitting started. It started out in playful punches, progressing to full out punches on Carmilla’s sides whenever she would do something wrong. _And she always found something._ Ell wouldn’t get upset around game time, allowing for some of the bruises to heal and to let Carmilla breathe a little easier during the games. The worst came after the one loss; Ell had been so angry that Carmilla was sure she was playing with a broken rib. Thankfully, Thanksgiving was around the corner, and so was the holiday tournament.

Yet, that wasn’t what was bothering Carmilla the most. Laura Hollis was the reason why she couldn’t sleep tonight. She sighed as she laid her head back, hugging the basketball to her chest. She didn’t know why she was this upset about it, _I have a girlfriend after all_ , but here she was, her mind racing because she was thinking about Laura Hollis. If she was being honest with herself, it wasn’t just her mind racing but her heart as well. _And boy did I think about Laura. A lot. A lot more than I would be willing to admit really_. It was crazy, but it was like the thought of Laura unlocked something inside Carmilla that she couldn’t stop from happening, which only made the thought of her tonight even worse.

She knew Xena and Laura were friends, far closer friends than she was with Laura. Xena did everything Laura would ask of her, even checking up on her. She thought back to the locker room fight she had with Xena after the topic of bruises were brought up; she had been so angry that she managed to break a locker door off of its hinges trying to get to Xena. If it hadn’t been for Mattie and Mel, she probably would’ve done a lot of damage to the center instead of the locker door. Then she caught the girl flirting with Laura.

It was obvious that Xena had a thing for Laura, but this was the first time she had caught the girl actually flirting with Laura. It had also been the first time she had caught Laura flirting back. It was only recently that Carmilla had found out that Laura was indeed a lesbian, after careful consideration as to how to ask the question to her. She was so nervous when she had asked, only to be relieved with Laura’s quick answer with a smile. Now she had to watch as her crush flirted with someone else. She didn’t know why, but it felt like someone had pulled their hand back and, with all their strength, brought it back and punched her hard into her gut. She wasn’t expecting to hurt this much over the flirting, but she did. She hated this feeling.

Carmilla tossed her ball into their air. _Maybe Laura wasn’t flirting back. She has a habit of just being too nice, too naïve, that it seems like flirting. Maybe my mind was just playing tricks on me._

Another toss into the air. _Or maybe I’m just being me again and reading the whole thing wrong again. Not like it would’ve been the first time._

A third toss. _Why should I even care in the first place? I have Ell; I’m taken. I shouldn’t care this much about a girl that I’m not even dating. She’s just a friend._

A fourth toss. _But I do care. Because I’m lying to myself if I even try to think that I’m not in love with her. Shit. I’m in love with Laura Hollis._

Groaning, Carmilla brought the ball down onto her forehead. She couldn’t hide the fact from herself any longer, that’s for sure. She was in love with Laura Hollis, a girl she had only known for a few months, and she knew that she was going to have no chance of getting. Xena would make sure of that, not to mention the fact that she was already in a relationship with another girl. Carmilla sat up, pulling her knees to her chest. _A relationship that’s failing if she was truly being honest with herself_. She sighed, standing up to head back down to her room when her phone buzzed for a text. Looking down at her phone, she saw that the text was from Laura, and she felt her heart flutter a little.

**_Laura: Hey, so I have a question for you._ **

Carmilla bit her lip.

**_Carmilla: What’s up?_ **

**_Laura: When did you know you liked Ell?_ **

Carmilla looked confused at her phone as she made her way to the door to the roof.

**_Carmilla: What do you mean?_ **

**_Laura: I think Danny likes me. I think she’s been flirting with me, but like…I don’t know._ **

Carmilla stood at the door to her apartment, staring down at Laura’s text. She knew eventually it would have to come up, but she wasn’t expecting it to come up this soon.

**_Carmilla: What makes you think that?_ **

It took a moment longer for Laura to reply back.

**_Laura: She’s been flirting a lot recently. It’s really cute, but like…I don’t know. I haven’t really dated anyone since high school, and even then it was a failure on my part._ **

Carmilla smiled to herself a little at Laura’s insecurity. _If only you knew, Cupcake._ She sighed, knowing what she was going to have to reply back with.

**_Carmilla: Well, see if it’s true. If it is, why not give it a shot?_ **

**_Laura: You really think so?_ **

**_Carmilla: Of course, Cupcake. No use in just sitting there and debating about it._ **

**_Laura: What would I do without you, seriously?_ **

Carmilla sighed, laying back on her bed as she stared up at the ceiling. _What will you do without me?_

* * *

 

Carmilla leaned against her locker, rubbing her ribs on her right side. It was halftime in the semi-finals game of the holiday tournament, and the Lady Vampires were down by twenty. Coach had started to kick in her demanding demeanor, and the aggression flowed through her teammates. The other team felt the same aggressiveness, giving back as much as they were getting. One had managed to elbow Carmilla just right on her ribs, right where Ell had managed to leave a large bruise just days before. It hurt to breathe or move in general, which wasn’t going to pan out well in the second half if it continued. She wanted to take a break, to take the time to just lean back and relax, but warm-ups for the second half were getting ready to start. She wasn’t going to get a break; she wasn’t going to get a chance to heal. All she wanted to do was to close her eyes and not move. That’s all she wanted. 

A ding from her bag broke Carmilla from her thoughts. Reaching down, she pulled out her phone to find that she had a message on Skype from Laura. _Must be working on an article for the paper. I swear she’s married to that computer._ She smiled a little to herself as she opened the app. _Though, Hollis, you do have excellent timing._

**_JournalismLover: Hey, so your game is on. I saw the elbow to your ribs; I hope you’re doing ok. Don’t let them get to you. Just go out, be you, and I know you’ll do great! Go kick some booty!_ **

Carmilla chuckled to herself. Laura always knew what to say to get her to smile, even when she didn’t want to. That was one of the things that she loved about Laura’s character. One of the things she loved about the young woman. Locking her phone, she slid it back into her bag and back into her locker. Checking her shoes and then her water bottle, she stood up, her confidence a lot higher than when she came into the locker room.

As she moved towards the door to the locker room, someone gently grabbed her shoulder. It was Mattie, who had become like an older sister to her during her time on the team. “Literally your mood changed in seconds after reading whatever message was on your phone. Who left it?” she asked.

Carmilla couldn’t help but smiling. “Just a friend.”

* * *

 

_Shit, I’m late!_ Carmilla quickly closed the door to her hotel room, knowing that Ell wouldn’t be back anytime soon. She, Mel, and a few others of the team had decided to go out to the bars tonight to celebrate the tournament win. Ell had demanded that Carmilla go with her, but she had held her ground in her decision to stay in. Tonight was the night that she was going to Skype Laura, and she wasn’t about to miss talking to her, even if that meant that she would pay the consequence of her actions later when Ell returned. 

Setting her laptop on the desk, she quickly logged on and pulled up the Skype app. It had her already logged on, so all she had to do was wait for the Skype call. Looking at her watch, she saw that she had a few minutes until Laura was supposed to call. Going over to the fridge, she pulled out a couple of the waters. It was a post-game ritual for her to drink at least two water bottles when she got back to her room.

Laura’s picture came up when her call began to come through. Carmilla smiled at the picture as she began to put her headphones in her ears, sitting down in the chair and hitting the accept button. A few seconds later, Laura’s smiling face was on her screen. _There goes my fluttering heart again._

“Hey! How’d it go? I wasn’t able to watch it because of debate practice,” Laura said, leaning forward on her elbows. By the looks of her background, she was back in her room at her apartment.

“We won 82-64,” Carmilla replied, mimicking Laura’s movement.

Laura smiled, clapping her hands together. “Congrats!” she said, looking around the screen. “Ell not in?”

Carmilla shook her head. “No; she went out with a couple of the girls to the bars.”

“And you stayed back instead of going out?”  
  
“I promised you I’d Skype you tonight.”

Laura smiled. “Aw, Carm. Thanks. When are you guys coming back?”

Carmilla moved to support her chin on her right hand. “Tomorrow morning, I think around 10, is when our flight. We should be back a couple hours after that.”

Laura nodded. “Sweet. Danny said she wanted to talk to me about something when you guys got back.”

Suddenly a twisting knot appeared in Carmilla’s stomach. “So…um…did you guys end up talking? About you know…”

“Her flirting?”

“Yeah…”

Laura blew out a puff of air and leaned back into her seat. “Kind of? She got focused on the tournament, and then our schedules got super busy in just a couple days right before you guys left. We like glossed over it, so I think that’s why she wants to talk to me when you guys get back into the states.”

Carmilla nodded, her mood sinking deeper and deeper into its darkness. “That’s good, I guess.”

Laura caught the change in her mood in an instant. “Is everything ok, Carmilla? Did something happen between you and Ell again?”

Carmilla smiled softly, hiding her sadness as best she could. _Always thinking about other people whenever you can, don’t you?_ “No, nothing happened. I just remembered all the homework that I still have to do when we do get back. The end of the semester is just around the corner, and I feel like I’m failing most of my classes except for our philosophy class.”

“Do you want some help then? I don’t mind helping you out whenever you half some free time, Carm.”

Carmilla shook her head. “No, no, it’s alright. I got this,” she said with a larger smile, one that would tell Laura she was ok yet hid the fact that she wasn’t.

By the expression on Laura’s face, she wasn’t totally convinced but moved on in the conversation. “Alright,” she said, leaning back into her seat. “We need to have a sleepover sometime soon.”

Carmilla’s eyebrow raised at the thought. “A sleepover? Really, Laura? We aren’t twelve anymore.”

“I know, but they’re fun even when you’re twenty-two!”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, a smile threatening to appear. “Whatever, Cupcake.”

Laura smiled. “So that’s a yes?”

Carmilla chuckled. “Yes, we can have a sleepover sometime soon. Maybe we can make it into a movie night.”

“That sounds great! Maybe a comedy or a chick flick or-“

“Horror. You have to have at least one horror movie on that list.”

Laura frowned. “Really, Carm?”

Carmilla crossed her arms over her chest. “Yes, Laura. We can’t have all of your favorites on that list and not one of mine at this sleepover.”

Laura huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Fine, have it your way. You get to bring the drinks then.”

Carmilla smiled. “How about I get the chips instead, unless you want a bottle of wine?”

“…Like that one bottle you brought over last time?”

“I can find just as good a bottle.”

“Then how can I say no to that?”

Carmilla laughed. She leaned forward, intending to tell Laura that her point was proven, when she heard a shrill cry come from the door.

“ **Carmilla! Why are you still on that god damn Skype call!** ”

Carmilla turned to find a very drunken Ell leaning against the doorframe of their hotel room. _Shit._ She turned back to her laptop, an apologetic smile on her face. “Sorry, Laura, I have to go.”

The worry on Laura’s face broke Carmilla’s heart. “Carm, you should go-“

Carmilla shook off Laura’s concern. _I can’t let anyone else find Ell like this._ “It’s alright, Laura. I got this. I’ll see you when I get back.”

She ended the Skype call before Laura could say anything else, sighing. _Well, it was good while it lasted._ She took a deep breath in before turning to her drunk girlfriend, steeling herself as best she could knowing that there would be a few more bruises after tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all those keeping up with the story! Let me know what you think about the chapter.
> 
> I hope your 2017 is a hell of a lot better than your 2016. Make sure to follow me on tumbler! @libs1317


	5. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All we want for Christmas is Hollstein.

“Laura, hurry up or we’re going to be late!”

Laura poked her head out of the bathroom, glaring towards LaF. “I told you to give me a few minutes! This paint is hard enough to put on without you interrupting me, LaF!”

LaF crossed their arms over their chest, tapping their foot impatiently on the floor. It was Friday night, and the Lady Vampires were playing the Corvae Horned Frogs tonight. It was the biggest rivalry game of the year, and everyone was going to be there. It was the last game before Winter Break, and the winner of this game always went on to the Championship game. For the past few years, the honor had been going to Corvae, but with this year’s team, high hopes were for the Lady Vampires. Being the festive people they were, Laura and LaF had decided to paint up for the occasion; Perry had humbly declined to do the same.

LaF stormed over to the bathroom door. “Just slap the stuff on, and come on Laura! If we don’t leave now, we won’t get any good seats. And I know you want to watch that tall girlfriend of yours up close and personal.”

Laura could feel her cheeks burn at the comment. She and Danny had been dating for a couple weeks now, but it was still a new feeling for her. Hell, she probably wouldn’t have had the confidence to even find out if Danny was interested if it hadn’t been for Carmilla. She had been the one to give her the extra push to make an inquiry, and look where it got her. She was in her first relationship since high school with someone she considered one of her best friends. Sure, she still had this weird knot feeling whenever she thought about Carmilla, but she had come to the realization that it probably wouldn’t happen. Carmilla was with Ell, even though Laura had tried to talk her into leaving the abusive bitch several times over.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Laura said softly, quickly finishing her paint job before leaving the bathroom to grab her bag.

LaF crossed their arms over their chest, a smirk on their face. “Uh huh. Sure, Laura, sure.”

“Let’s just go before we lose those great seats you were complaining about.”

The arena was packed when they arrived twenty minutes later. LaF ran ahead of Laura and Perry to make sure that they could get decent seats. Laura and Perry stopped by the concession stand, agreeing that it would be best to get their snacks now before the game started so that there wasn’t a need to get up anytime during the game. It was going to be a packed night by the looks of the arena, and neither one of them wanted to be caught in the lines during the game. They were long, but Perry had managed to text LaF about their snack intentions when they jumped in line.

“So, how are you and Danny doing?” Perry asked as she responded to one of LaF’s texts.

Laura smiled a little. “Good. We’re taking it slow, but we’re doing good so far.”

Perry smiled. “That’s good. I’m glad you were able to move on from Carmilla.”

Laura looked at Perry confused. “What do you mean?”

Perry chuckled. “Laura, we’re not blind. Everyone could see how in love you were with the girl.”

“Was not!”

Perry’s eyes widened. “You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”

“No I’m not!”

Perry rolled her eyes. “You so are, Laura, which is why all of us are confused why you’re dating the people you are now.”

Laura crossed her arms, noting that they were getting closer to the concession stand. “I like Danny, and I’m pretty sure that Carmilla feels the same way about Ell. And this is Carmilla we’re talking about; she and I are only friends,” she said, her voice growing soft as she looked towards the ground. _She would never want to date me anyways. There are so much better people she could be associated with._

Perry sighed, shaking her head at her friend. “Whatever you say, Laura.”

The two didn’t waste time getting their snacks and making their way to their seats, carefully guarded by LaF. Warm-ups were just finishing up with Carmilla and Mattie giving the team their inspirational speeches, getting the rush of adrenaline pumping through their teammates. Laura caught Danny’s attention move to her, and she smiled and waved to her girlfriend. Danny winked at her before rushing out onto the court with the rest of the starters. She took her place at the middle of the court, across from the opposing center and next to the head referee.

It was then that Laura turned her attention towards Carmilla. She could feel her hands start to clench the container of popcorn on her lap, the anger building up inside her. The look of defeat, the look of emptiness, rang loud and proud on Carmilla’s face, her left hand hovering near her left side. Laura already knew the answer why, and she was furious. _Carmilla shouldn’t have to put up with Ell’s behavior. All that girl is doing is hurting her._

**_Tweet!_ **

It was as if a switch flipped inside Carmilla’s head, her focus solely on the game. Laura knew how important the game was to Carmilla; it was the last attachment to her father she had. Her father loved the sport, and the love had passed on to his daughter. When she was five, he took her to her first WNBA game, and it only increased its hold on her. She was the star player for all of her teams, the practices with her father developing her skills. It was when she was eighteen that everything changed. A drunk driver had ran a stoplight, t-boning Carmilla’s father on his drive to one of her games. It had crushed her; all she could do was focus on basketball, driving her to become better at the sport that her father was in love with to avert the pain of losing him.

Before Laura knew it, the Lady Vampires were up by twelve, and the second quarter had started. Perry was speaking to LaF about something, but Laura’s focus was on Carmilla. This woman had gone through so much hurt, and it was painful to Laura to see her continue with the abusive relationship. She knew Carmilla deserved to be loved unconditionally; she knew that Carmilla deserved to have the happiness she knew she craved for. It was then that Laura couldn’t deny it anymore, and that’s what scared her the most.

She was in love with Carmilla Karnstein, and she had been the one to let her slip through her fingers.

* * *

 

Carmilla leaned against the back of her locker and sighed, a small smile on her face. They had won against Corvae, and Coach Morgan had already called off the rest of practices leading up to Winter Break. She was finally going to relax this break, one she was much in need of. Quickly changing out of her uniform, she packed up her bag and rushed out of the locker room. She knew Ell would take a long time to cool down from the game, especially after having to speak to the press about tonight’s win. Carmilla had just managed to leave the arena when someone caught her eye. 

Wrapped in a bright red coat with red and purple face paint on, Laura stood shaking near one of the benches. She was by herself; Carmilla remembered seeing Perry and LaF sitting with her during the game and assumed that they had left her sometime after the game. She wondered why Laura was waiting by herself when the thought hit her like a steamroller. _Danny._

Xena and Laura had been dating for the past couple weeks, confusing Carmilla beyond sane thoughts. She couldn’t understand why Laura had actually agreed to a relationship with Xena; she was bossy, overbearing, and a controlling pain-in-the-ass. Nothing about her screamed Laura’s type, which only confused her more. Carmilla was going over all the reasons why Xena was not Laura’s match when she caught the blonde smile and wave at her.

Carmilla smiled back, her heart fluttering as she waved back. _Caught in the act, Karnstein. Nice one._ She watched as Laura made her way over to her, pulling the collar of her jacket closer to her neck. Carmilla bit the inside of her lip as Laura moved closer, the tension in her chest tightening more and more the closer she got. She tried to mentally shake the feeling, but she knew that she was never going to be able to. It was just impossible for her heart to not fall hard for Laura Hollis.

“Hey, you enjoy the game?” she asked.

Laura nodded. “You guys did great. Last game before Winter Break, right?”

“Yeah. Coach even cancelled practices so that we could focus on homework and exams. Speaking of which, you ready for yours?”

Laura shrugged. “I think so. Won’t know really until I get into that classroom and sit down to take it.”

Carmilla smiled at her. “I’m sure you’ll do fine, Laura.”

The two of them stood in silence, unsure of how to continue the conversation. The silence threatened to continue into an awkward stage when Laura spoke up.

“So, how are things with you and Ell?” she asked.

“Good. Couldn’t be better,” Carmilla answered, not knowing herself if she was telling Laura the truth or not.

Laura looked at her disapprovingly. “Really Carm?”

Carmilla was taken aback by Laura’s comment. She narrowed her eyes at the journalism major. “And just what’s that supposed to mean?”

Laura crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s kind of hard to miss the fact that I’ve seen the bruises, Carm.”

“They’re just bruises from basketball. You see how I play; I’m aggressive, and I’m always having to move through other players,” Carm retorted, though she knew that only part of that was true.

Laura shook her head. “Really? You’re going to lie to me about that too? Carmilla, I’m not stupid. I’ve seen how much you’ve changed since you started dating Ell.”

“Oh, I’ve changed a lot? What about you, Laura? I’m not the only one who’s changed.”

“What are you talking about?”

Carmilla threw her hands up in their air. “Xena! She’s not your type at all, and I can’t understand why you’re with her!”

Carmilla watched as Laura’s brow furrowed. “Really? You’re dating Ell, who continues to abuse you, Carm! I’ve known Danny since my freshman year of college; we get along great! And how would you know my type anyways?”

“Because I’m the one in love with you!”

As soon as the words left Carmilla’s mouth, her eyes widened, and her hands covered her mouth. Laura was equally as surprised, staring at the basketball player with eyes just as wide. They stood silent, staring at each other, not knowing how to move on in the conversation. Carmilla found herself mentally berating herself. _How could she just blurt that out? Especially out in public where people could hear them? If word of this gets back to Ell, she’s done for._

Carmilla watched as Laura bit her lower lip as her thoughts churned inside her head. “You…you’re in love with me?”

The hurt on Laura’s face, the look of disappointment, felt like a knife going through Carmilla’s chest. She pushed past Laura, practically running to her car. She vaguely registered Laura calling after her, but she didn’t stop. _I need to get out of here._ She jumped into her car, speeding out of the parking lot. She didn’t care if the cops saw her; she just had to get as far away from Laura as possible.

The best part about being in Silas is that it was surrounded by country. Carmilla didn’t have a particular destination, but she wanted to drive far away. Far from Silas, far from Silas University, far from Ell, and far far away from Laura. The embarrassment of the entire situation was too much for Carmilla to handle; she just wanted to be alone and away from everything. Finding herself on the verge of a panic attack, she pulled off onto the side of the road, leaning back against her seat.

Taking slow breaths, Carmilla worked to bring herself back down from the stress of the ordeal, reminding herself that everything was going to work itself out sooner or later. When she was finally able to open her eyes, she found her hands wrapped tightly around her steering wheel, her knuckles white. Slowly, she released the steering wheel and pushed her seat back. The night was just one big stresser, though it was far from over. _Why, brain, did you think it was a good idea to tell Laura that I’m in love with her?_

The buzzing of her phone brought Carmilla out of her thoughts. Looking down, expecting it to be Ell demanding to know where she was, she was surprised to see it was a lengthy text from Laura.

**_Laura: I’m sorry about tonight. I’m sorry how it ended. I’m confused on why it ended as it did, but I’m sorry. I’ve just been so worried about you. It’s hard for me to make friends, and I consider you to be one of my closer friends here at Silas. You’re there for me to talk about anything that bothers me, so it hurts that I feel like I can’t do the same for you when you’re in trouble. As for the whole Danny dating situation, she and I are still trying to figure us out, but we’re good together. You’d be the first to know if it wasn’t, just so you could tell me you told me so, right? Lol._ **

**_Laura: I guess what I’m trying to say is…I like you, but right now, it can only work as friends. You’ve got Ell, and I’ve got Danny. I hope we can still be friends, especially now that we’ll have a couple classes together next semester. I’d rather keep you as a Philosophy partner than anyone else. Let me know when you get home, please._ **

Carmilla looked down at the texts, her heart tugging in all sorts of directions. A smile appeared on her face as tears rolled down her cheeks. _You don’t plan on making this any easier, do you Hollis?_

* * *

 

Danny finished packing up her gym bag, throwing it over her shoulder as she made her way towards the locker room exit. She was the last one in the locker room, and she groaned at the thought of having to go through the last of the remaining press that she knew were waiting outside for her. The only thought that made her smile was that she knew Laura was out waiting for her. Buttoning up her jacket, she made her way out of the locker room and down the large hall. Sure enough, there was at least one reporter waiting for her. 

She recognized him as Theo, one of the Zeta bros that were consistently trying to act as bodyguards to the female population of Silas University. He was the president, but one could rarely find him around during their events. You were more likely to find Kirsh, one of the guys on the men’s basketball team, than Theo. He smiled at her, and she couldn’t help but feel disgusted already. He was one of those guys that sent the wrong vibes, and the sooner she was away from him, the sooner she knew she’d feel better.

“Hey Xena,” he called, using that name that Carmilla always called her. _Great._ “What’s the big rush? Don’t you have something to say for the newspaper?”

“Anything I want to appear in the newspaper will go through Laura, Theo, because at least I know she’ll write an honest article,” Danny replied, pushing past Theo.

Silently groaning to herself when she heard his footsteps running to catch up to her, Danny kept her eyes on the exit. “Come on, Xena. Just one little quote for my article. That’s all I’m asking for.”

Danny stopped, glaring at Theo. “Just so you can twist my words? No thanks.”

Theo rolled his eyes, moving his mouth as to say something, when something caught his attention. Grateful for the distraction, Danny moved to leave when that same distraction caught her attention. At the end of the hall was Ell, kissing someone that Danny didn’t recognize. That’s what really got her attention was that the girl being kissed was not Carmilla and was instead someone she did not recognize. _Oh shit, Ell. What the hell do you think you’re doing?_ Laura had warned Danny about Ell’s treatment of Carmilla, but even the broody girl didn’t deserve to have her heart broken like this.

“Well, well, well. It looks like I found my scoop,” Danny heard Theo say from beside her.

She turned her head to find Theo holding his phone up, video-recording the make-out session down the hall. Danny quickly threw her hand in front of the camera, earning her a glare from the fraternity boy. Danny stood her ground, throwing an equally intimidating glare back at him.

“What do you think you’re doing, Xena?” Theo asked in a threatening voice.

“This video does NOT get out, Theo. You’re going to erase it right now,” Danny answered, not budging.

Theo narrowed his eyes at her. “And what if I don’t?”

“I’ve read enough of your papers to know how much plagiarism you do in them without getting caught by the professors. If you don’t delete the video, then I’ll make sure you won’t get into another university again.”

The two of them stood at a standstill, neither wanting to budge. Danny was sure that, if need be, she could wrestle the phone out of Theo’s hands. She didn’t want to have to steal it from him, but she wasn’t about to let Laura hurt because Carmilla got hurt by Ell. After a moment of silence, Theo gave in.

“Fine, Xena, you win. I’ll delete the video.”

Danny nodded, looking down the hall to find Ell looking towards her, the other girl having already left. The expression on Ell’s face read that she knew the two of them had seen her, but there wasn’t any remorse. As if challenging Danny to report back to Laura and Carmilla about what had transpired between her and the unknown girl. Theo chuckled before leaving, and Ell left with a smile on her face. When both were out of ear and eyesight, Danny sighed. _Great way to start Winter Break._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 
> 
> Hope everyone's year has started out as awesome as mine has. Let me know what you thought of the chapter either here or at my tumblr!
> 
> Remember to keep it Kinda Classy!


	6. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter Break basketball tournament, and Laura gets to tag along!

Laura yawned, pulling the covers closer to her chin. She was perfectly content with staying in bed for the rest of the day, but by the sounds of movement around her, it wasn’t going to be a reality. _Just a few more minutes…that’s all I want. I just want a few more minutes in the nice, warm hotel bed._ She knew she would have to eventually get up out of bed, probably rushing to get ready to leave, but she wanted to do anything but move.

“Laura, you have to get up. We’re going to be late if you don’t,” she heard Danny call from the bathroom, effectively signaling the end of her time in bed.

Laura groaned, sitting up slowly. Running her hand through her hair and attempting to straighten out her bedhead, she looked towards her girlfriend. Danny had managed to convince her coach to allow Laura to travel with them on their trip for a holiday tournament in the Caribbean as a good gesture for a positive story to be featured in the Voice of Silas about the team. Granted, they didn’t need to have any more exposure due to their historic season so far, but Lilita Morgan wasn’t one to let a publicity opportunity slip through her fingers. So Laura was brought along with the expectation of writing an article about the tournament and the good deeds done by the team while they were visiting.

Part of those good deeds included going to the local hospital, which was on today’s agenda. Laura had already laid out her outfit for today, a business casual attire that would allow her to move around a lot easier. Danny was wearing her jersey with khaki pants, the uniform for the players on their visit. Laura smiled, kissing her girlfriend’s cheek as she eased past her towards the bathroom. Following a quick shower, Laura got dressed while Danny went through her itinerary for the rest of the week they were there. Games were supposed to start in two days, allowing for a day of practice, but tonight after the visit to the hospital, it looked as if they were going to have the evening to themselves.

Laura checked herself out in the full mirror, adjusting her hair as it hung down her shoulders. Satisfied, she turned to Danny, who she caught staring. “Enjoying your view?” she asked with a smirk.

Danny rolled her eyes, moving over to Laura. “Every day,” she answered, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and giving her a kiss.

Laura smiled, gently shoving Danny’s shoulder. “Suck up.”

“You asked!” Danny chuckled, grabbing her bag and handing Laura’s to her. “Ready to go?”

“Course.”

Laura threw her bag over her shoulder as Danny opened the door for her. Thanking her with a nod and smile, Laura exited the room first, waiting for Danny in the hall. The door closed with a click behind Danny, and they walked to the elevator hand in hand. For Laura, the hotel was one of the most expensive she had been in. When she was younger, she remembered taking trips with her father across the nation, but his anxiety over protecting her at all costs found them in less-than-stellar hotel accommodations.

The elevator ride was a quick one, and Laura saw that the rest of the team was already in the lobby, presumably waiting for the two of them. She saw Mel talking with a couple of the freshmen, Ell talking with her two friends on the team, Mattie speaking with Coach Morgan, and then there was Camilla. She was sitting in a corner of the lobby, silently watching her teammates interact with each other. Even as Danny led her to join up with a couple of the younger players, Laura continued to find herself looking over towards the broody senior.

They hadn’t spoken much after the argument before Winter Break, and it broke Laura all over again. She wasn’t lying to Carmilla when she had said that she liked her. If she was honest to herself, she knew she liked her more than she would let on, but at the moment Laura had Danny, and Carmilla had Ell. She didn’t want to ruin what they had, even when it felt as if her heart was telling her something else. Even when her heart was screaming that it was something else, that she wanted someone else. Someone like Carmilla, who was caring, funny, and who had one of the brightest smiles she’d ever seen in her life.

Fingers snapped in front of her face, bringing her out of her thoughts. Danny was looking at her, confusion on her face. “Hey, you ok? I lost you for a minute,” she asked, eyes searching Laura’s.

Laura nodded. “Yeah, sorry. Just thinking about this upcoming semester is all.”

Danny continued to search Laura’s eyes before nodding. She took Laura’s hand, leading her to the awaiting bus. Laura smiled, watching as Danny talked excitedly about the trip to the hospital, but her mind was elsewhere. She knew that she was thinking about Carmilla; she knew that she shouldn’t be thinking about her, but she couldn’t help it. After that night before Winter Break, when Carmilla admitted she was in love with her, Carmilla was all that Laura could think about. She was always on her mind, no matter what she was doing. When she was with family, thoughts about Carmilla snuck in. When she was with friends, Carmilla’s laugh would be there in the back of her mind. When she was with Danny, all Laura could do was wish that it was Carmilla instead.

Laura hadn’t realized that she had completely zoned out Danny’s conversation until they had pulled up to the hospital. Danny excitedly looked out the window, and a pang of guilt shot through Laura’s heart. Here was her girlfriend, excited about meeting the children of the hospital, and she was thinking about another woman, one of her teammates. Laura looked down at her hands, the guilt threatening to overflow. Danny stood, cueing Laura to follow. Danny must’ve sensed her change in mood because her arm found its way around Laura’s shoulders.

Laura leaned into her girlfriend, following her towards one of the rooms. She watched as Danny and one of the back ups, _Stacy if I remember correctly_ , play with a young girl who had a skeleton disease. She smiled as Danny interacted with the child, knowing how well Danny got along with children. She knew eventually Danny would be a mother, that much showed. Taking a quick few notes, Laura quietly exited the room and walked down the hallway. She found Mel and Mattie in one room, and she was pleasantly surprised to see their childish interacts with the children in the room. She continued walking down the hall when a thunderous amount of laughter came out of one of the rooms.

Curious, Laura walked down towards the room, finding that it was a rather large playroom. Walking inside, she saw a group of children huddled around what looked like a quickly put together stage. The children were giggling, watching the curtains excitedly, when someone with a rather large black stuffed cat appeared from behind the curtains. The person holding the cat pretended to attack a few of the children, only to be thwarted by the others. Laura was surprised to find the person behind the giant stuffed animal was Carmilla.

Carmilla fell to the ground, feigning to be in pain, as the children swarmed her. Laura’s hand found its way to covering her mouth as she watched Carmilla laugh and interact with the children. She smiled, gently biting her lip as Carmilla answered some of the children’s questions, no matter how outlandish some of them were. Carmilla’s smile brightened the room, brightening the lives of the children around her. Laura had seen how her teammates had intereacted with the children of the hospital; Carmilla was another level of happiness that she brought to the children.

Reaching into her pocket, Laura pulled out her phone and turned the camera on. Smiling, she raised it so that she could get all of the children with Carmilla in the frame. It was when she caught Carmilla’s bright smile that she took the picture. As if sensing the picture being taken, Carmilla’s attention turned fully to Laura. Laura smiled a little, waving a little at her. Carmilla smiled, whispering to the children around her.

Suddenly, all of the children around Carmilla swarmed around Laura, doing their best growls as they tried their best to get her in their grasps. By the look of Carmilla’s smirk, Laura understood a little of what she had said to the children. Feigning weakness, Laura lowered herself to her knees for the younger ones to wrap their arms around her neck. She laughed with them, reaching out to tickle them as they continued to try and subdue her. After a few minutes of the “attack,” Carmilla laughed and herded the children away from Laura towards their respective nurses. Once the last child had left, Carmilla began to clean up the mess that she and the children had made earlier. Laura decided to help her clean up, seeing as she had also caused part of the mess.

They cleaned the room in silence, yet Laura had wished she had the courage to speak up and break it. She hated how they were now, feeling as if a piece of herself had been ripped out of her chest. As the last of the toys were put away, Laura looked up at Carmilla. Her chest felt like it was on fire; her hands were clenching and unclenching fast. She wanted to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. Just as she had found the strength to say something, Carmilla finally spoke up.

“I’m sorry.”

Laura blinked, confusion taking hold. “For what?”

“For today. For right after the Corvae game. For everything that happened in between then and now,” she answered, looking up at Laura. “I didn’t mean to push that on you, and I see now that I should’ve just...kept my mouth shut.”

Laura felt her heart drop into her stomach. The next thing she knew, her arms were around Carmilla’s neck, pulling her close to her. “Don’t ever be sorry, Carm. Never ever be sorry for how you feel.”

It took a moment, but Laura felt Carmilla’s arms wrap around her waist, hugging her back. They stood there, hugging each other for a few moments, but to Laura, it felt like an eternity. She wanted to just get lost to the world in Carmilla’s arms. After the moment, both leaned back, looking into each other’s eyes, and Laura could feel her heart in her throat. She wanted to lean forward, to kiss those soft lips, and she could feel her body start to respond to her thoughts. They were so close that it wouldn’t…

“Laura! Where are you?” Laura heard Danny call.

Carmilla and Laura jumped back, the panic in their eyes. Laura felt as if a knife had been stabbed in her chest, but she knew that it was for the best, though the panic of the entire situation threatened to remain for the next hour or so. “In here,” she answered loud enough for Danny to hear.

Danny appeared a second later with Ell and Mattie right behind her. Ell smiled when she caught sight of Carmilla, going over to kiss her girlfriend’s cheek. It was then that Laura caught Mattie’s curious stare at her, which Laura promptly brushed off as she walked into Danny’s awaiting arms. She hugged her girlfriend, but her eyes found themselves looking towards Carmilla, who discreetly shot her a disappointed look. Laura couldn’t help but feel a little uplifted by the thought that Carmilla felt the same way currently.

“What were you two doing in here?” Danny asked as she pulled back to look at Laura.

“Cleaning up. I found Carmilla in here with a dozen children, and they had made quite a mess of the room, so I stayed back to help her clean up after they left.”

Danny nodded, rubbing Laura’s lower back. “Well the bus is here, and you two were the last ones we had to find. Ready to go?”

Laura nodded, taking Danny’s hand and letting her lead them out to the bus. She could feel the guilt sitting in her gut, knowing that she shouldn’t continue to lead Danny on like she was, but how could she tell her that she was in love with someone who was already in a relationship? It wasn’t like she could ask Carmilla to end her relationship with Ell anyways; she had already given the impression that she wasn’t going to leave Danny for Carmilla. She didn’t want to throw mixed signals at Carmilla, no matter how much she wanted to be the one with her arms around Carmilla.

As the trip continued resulting in a tournament win, Laura couldn’t help but watch Carmilla. She knew Carmilla hadn’t been in the most joyous moods since before Winter Break, but watching her now after somewhat patching things up, it was as if a new Carmilla had made her appearance. She was a lot more calming, more relaxed, as if the old her had made her way back to reality. Yet there was something new about Carmilla, something only Laura could see whenever she caught Carmilla looking at her. It was like a longing in her eyes, but an understanding that it wouldn’t work right now. Like she was willing to put up with her abusive relationship with Ell just so that she could wait to be with Laura. Laura didn’t know what hurt worse, that she couldn’t be with Carmilla or that Carmilla was willing to continue her relationship with Ell.

So here she was, putting on a show for Danny as if nothing else was wrong in her life. As if her life was a simple, happy little life. She kept the pain that she felt having to lie to one of her closest friends deep in her chest, afraid as to what was going to happen if she said anything or acted on her impulses. If she told Carmilla how she truly felt about her. If she told Carmilla that she loved her.

_Why does college have to be so confusing?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, look at that. We managed to catch up to January! A little bit more of a tease for Hollstein, but I promise, more is on it's way. All the torture that I've put you guys through will soon end. Stay tuned next week for the results!


	7. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the Valentine's Dance at Silas University. Will love prevail?

Carmilla rubbed her cheek, her eyes scanning the page of questions in the packet in front of her.  Thinking that she had finally found an acceptable question, she held the packet up in front of her as she started to read.

“Nouns in this language are often produced by the reduplication of verbs, and verbs can agree with either the subject or the object.  One notation for this language was created by William Stokoe, and it has been proposed that this language is a creole with a French version of the language as a superstrate.  This language is thought to be derived from a version originating in Martha’s Vineyard, and the first school to use it was founded in Hartford by Thomas Gallaudet.  Reciprocity is signified by using two hands for one-handed sign in, for ten points, what language used among the deaf in the United States?”

Laura smiled. “Carmilla, that was way too easy.  American Sign Language.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Easy because it practically gave you the answer at the end,” she answered, looking through the remaining questions. “How about this one:  In human experiments, D-T is the most common type of this process, and usually, tokamaks are used to allow this process to happen without damaging equipment.  One type of this process occurs in protostars and stops the rise of temperature in them temporarily.  This process is exothermic when the end product is Nickel-62, based on the mass defect produced as energy.  The CNO cycle and the proton-proton chain use this process to combine elements in stars.  For ten points, name this process in which atoms are combined to create energy, the opposite of fission.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Again, too easy.  Fusion.”

“Well, Cupcake, it doesn’t help when you give me high-school level quiz books to ask questions from.”

“Carm, you’ve been just reading the beginning of the question, assuming that the answer wasn’t going to be practically given away by the end.  Try reading the end of the question first before asking the question.”

Setting the packet down, Carmilla grabbed another and began to scan through it. “How about this one?  It’s not Jainism, but followers of one branch of this religion carry brooms to signify their cleanliness.  A trance drum owned by queen Nyabinghi in this religion was said to have inspired its meditative practices.  This religion’s followers are grouped into ‘mansions,’ which include the Bobo Ashanti and Twelve Houses of Israel.  The Holy Piby is a religious text of this religion, whose adherents refer to all material pleasures as Babylon.  The official colors of this religion were derived from the Ethiopian flag.  Haile Sclassie is deified in, for ten points, which religion, whose followers wear dreadlocks and smoke ganja?”

Laura smiled at the question. “Better, but only because I haven’t read too much about religion.  I find it to be too confusing and to cause too many arguments.  The answer’s Rastafarianism, by the way.”

“Ok, Miss Smarty Pants.  I think I’m done helping you study your smart books now.”

Laura chuckled. “I am far from being a smarty pants; that’s Betty’s title.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, setting the packet down on the stack beside her.  She was currently sitting on Laura’s floor, having agreed to help her study for an upcoming quiz bowl competition that weekend.  It was the perfect distraction than having to think about the upcoming Valentine’s Day party that was to begin in the next two hours.  Carmilla didn’t know why she was dreading going to it so much; Ell hadn’t stopped talking about how excited she was to attend it with her.  Everything was picked out and paid for, but Carmilla couldn’t help but have a sickly feeling about it all.  So when Laura had texted her, asking for some help doing a small study session, Carmilla had jumped at the opportunity.

Since their talk during the tournament trip, everything seemed to ease back into normal.  Even Ell’s mood had changed significantly; Carmilla had seen more of the charming smile that had first attracted her to the young woman.  It felt as if everything was falling back into place after the turbulent declaration of love to Laura before Winter Break.  Yet, Carmilla couldn’t help but feel disappointed about the revelation.  Yeah, everything was falling back to normal, but it also meant that Carmilla was caught in the phase of wanting to be with Laura and knowing that she could never be with Laura.  It was the truth that she knew she had to accept but didn’t want to.

“So, when are you going to the party tonight?” Laura asked, breaking the silence between the two, her eyes scanning through a different packet of questions.

Carmilla shrugged. “I told Ell I was going to pick her up around nine, so we should be there around nine-thirty.  You?”

“I think Danny was going to pick me up around the same time, so we may end up there before you two arrive.”

“Sweet.  You can text me and warn me how boring it is,” Carmilla said with a smile as she leaned back against the wall behind her.

Laura rolled her eyes, laying her packet on her bed before laying down on her back.  Carmilla watched as she stared up at her ceiling, her thinking expression on her face.  It wasn’t hard to pick up on Laura’s many facial expressions, each one more distinct than the last, and it helped that Laura was a very animated person.  Carmilla looked down at her phone, pulling up her calendar.  She began to count out the remaining games she had left of her college career with the postseason just around the corner.  They were tied for first in their conference, projected to get the first seed in the upcoming conference tournament.

“You want to know something?” Laura asked.

Carmilla looked up from her phone. “Sure.”

Laura leaned her head back, a small smile on her face. “I have a feeling that tonight’s going to be memorable.”

* * *

 

Carmilla leaned against one of the bleachers, taking a sip of her drink.  She watched as Ell chatted with a few of her friends, Mattie bounced from one guy to another while she danced, and Laura danced with Danny to a variety of upbeat songs.  Parties had never been Carmilla’s style, but she had promised to go with Ell, though she had wished Ell had spent a little more time with her date rather than her group of stuck up, prissy friends.  Carmilla sighed, reaching up to adjust her tie once again.  She had chosen to go with a red dress shirt, white tie, black vest, and black dress pants.  She preferred this to a dress any day, choosing to be in something comfortable while she suffered through the event. 

She caught Laura’s eyes flash towards her, a worried expression on her face as she moved off the dance floor with Danny.  She smiled, waving off Laura’s concern and mouthing to her to enjoy her night.  Carmilla had predicted that she would be alone for most of the night; it wasn’t Ell’s style to be around her for very long at a public event such as the party.  She began to scan the gym when she spotted Kirsh heading her way.  It threw her for a moment; he and a few of his friends on the men’s team had been the source of music for the night, and his worried expression meant something had come up.  By the way he had honed onto her, she could only guess what he was about to ask.

“Kirsh, I am not getting up on that stage,” she told him firmly, his mouth already open to ask the question.

“Come on, Carmilla.  Just a few songs so that Will can get his voice back,” Kirsh begged, pushing out his lower lip for his signature puppy dog look.

Carmilla didn’t budge. “I said no, Kirsh.  Will knew what he was signing up for, and it’s not my fault he likes to scream his lungs out when he sings.”

“Please Carm!”

Carmilla raised her hand, every intention of turning Kirsh down again, when she heard Laura’s voice interrupt them.

“Everything ok?”

Carmilla turned her head, finding herself flustered at Laura’s sudden appearance.  She had tried her best not to stare at Laura’s blue ombre dress all night, but it was easier said than done when said dress was on the other side of the gym.  Being so close, Carmilla felt her voice catch in her throat, allowing for Kirsh to sneak in.

“I’m trying to get Carmilla to fill in for Will for a song.  He’s ran his throat dry and needs a break to recover,” he explained.

Laura looked to Carmilla. “I didn’t know you sing.”

Carmilla threw Kirsh a glare, one that could kill if able to. “Like I was telling Kirsh, I don’t sing often enough.  Plus, there are a lot more other people who could sing instead of me.”

As she was turning to move away from Kirsh, she felt Laura take her hand.  She turned to find Laura doing her own impression of a puppy dog pout. “Carm…”

“Laura, I can’t…”

“Please?...” Carmilla could see Laura push her lower lip out further.

Carmilla knew she could hold off Kirsh’s pout, but she knew she couldn’t do the same for Laura.  She sighed. “Fine, but only one song,” she said, turning to Kirsh. “And I’m picking it out.”

Laura squealed with glee, while Kirsh pumped his fist into the air. “I can deal with that.  Let me go tell the guys,” he said before rushing off towards the stage.

Carmilla sighed, following him after a moment.  She had known since she was younger that she had a talent in singing, but it had never been one that she had enjoyed due to her father’s involvement.  Much of her childhood was spent doing whatever he wanted her to do, which included enrolling into her high school’s choir program the minute she was eligible to.  The only choice extracurricular she found enjoyable was being able to participate in basketball.  There she was able to let go of her built up anger, transitioning it into a focus towards improving her skills.  When the day came for her to pick out her main focus in high school, she chose to continue with basketball, infuriating her father and his choice of participating in the school’s state champion choir program.

Carmilla climbed the stage’s stairs, aware of the increasing number of eyes on her as she made her way towards the microphone.  Kirsh looked at her expectedly, ready to start playing on his electric guitar.  She turned her head towards the audience who began to crowd around the stage, questioning expressions on many faces.  She caught sight of Ell, causing her to smile a little.  It was different though when she caught sight of Laura, surrounded by Xena, Perry, and LaF, her heart fluttering at the sight of that smile that she only allowed Carmilla to see.  She mentally pushed it away, turning her focus to Kirsh.

“You douche canoes know She Takes Me High by We the Kings?” she asked.  The three of them nodded, Kirsh’s smile growing on his face. “Show me.”

Grabbing one of the spare guitars, Carmilla slid it onto her shoulders, grabbing one of the picks out of the case next to the guitar stand.  Checking the tuning of the guitar, Carmilla smiled when she got the sound to her standard.  Looking at Kirsh with a smile, she started the song’s opening guitar part.

_Last night’s dream_

_We rode our bikes_

_To our tree house by the sea_

_And there we laid and said we’d never leave_

_Last night’s dream_

_I promised you would have_

_The whole world at your feet_

_And that we’d lay on a bed we made of leaves_

_And we both know_

_You’re everything I need_

_And now I know_

_What she does to me_

Carmilla smiled, bobbing her head with the beat as the audience started to get into the groove with her, leading her straight into the chorus.

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She wakes me up_

_She breaks me down_

_She’s got me 10 feet off the ground_

_She takes me high, high_

_She takes me high tonight_

Carmilla could feel the energy of the room start to pick up.  Yet, she found her eyes repeatedly going back to Laura, her smile being the brightest in the room.  Carmilla could feel her heart flutter faster.

_Last night’s dream_

_We drove your car_

_To the dead end of your street_

_And we made love where no one else could see_

_Last night’s dream_

_I held your hand_

_And asked if you would be_

_Forever mine, together you and me_

_And we both know_

_You’re everything I need_

_And now I know_

_What she does to me_

Carmilla swung the guitar behind her back, signaling the crowd to sing the chorus with her as she clapped with them.

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She wakes me up_

_She breaks me down_

_She’s got me 10 feet off the ground_

_She takes me high tonight_

Even as she got towards the end of the song, Carmilla couldn’t take her eyes off of Laura, and Laura wouldn’t look away from her.

_I’ll keep sleeping_

_If I don’t stop dreaming_

_I would stop my breathing for you_

_I’m not leaving_

_This life I’m dreaming_

_Cause I can’t stop living with you_

Carmilla wrapped her hands around the microphone, singing softly and slowly to match the song.

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

Carmilla smiled at the break, biting her lower lip when her eyes met Laura’s before breaking out into the final chorus.

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She takes me high_

_She wakes me up_

_She breaks me down_

_She’s got me 10 feet off the ground_

_She takes me high, high_

_She takes me takes me high tonight_

The song finished out, and cheers erupted in the gym.  Carmilla smiled, motioning to Kirsh and the band behind her for the audience’s cheers.  She knew that they were put on the spot with her song choice but was surprisingly impressed that they were able to keep up with her.  It was the one thing that she missed about singing; the performance, the cheering, the adoration from those who saw her.  It was this part that warmed her the most, not her father pushing for her to do the more boring genres of music such as chorales.

Carmilla turned towards Kirsh, taking the guitar off and handing it to him.  He was in the midst of thanking her for performing with them when they heard the video screen above the stage start to lower.  Confused, Carmilla looked up at it.  _What was going on?_ She wasn’t aware of this being a part of the party, and by a quick glance around her, the other attendees were just as confused.

It was then that a play icon appeared on the screen.  _A video?  What’s going on?_ Whoever was controlling the screen clicked on the play icon, changing the black background to a hallway.  Two people were standing farther down the hall, which Carmilla recognized as one of the hallways inside the basketball arena.  The two in the shot were obviously caught in a steamy session when the camera zoomed in on them.  It was then that she felt her heart stop.  She couldn’t believe her eyes as she saw that the person on the right was Ell.

“Well, well, well.  It looks like I found my scoop,” Carmilla heard the person filming say on the video, but all she could do was stare at the video.  _Why…_

A hand quickly covered the video. “What do you think you’re doing, Xena?” the person filming asked.

_Xena?  Danny knew about this?_ Carmilla turned towards where Laura was, who was equally staring at Danny in confusion.  It looked as if Danny was moving to say something when the video only confirmed Carmilla’s suspicions.

“This video does NOT get out, Theo.  You’re going to erase it right now.”

Carmilla felt as if her heart was being repeatedly stabbed as the video continued. “And what if I don’t?”

“I’ve read enough of your papers to know how much plagiarism you do in them without getting caught by the professors.  If you don’t delete the video, then I’ll make sure you won’t get into another university again.”

A silence appeared, and Carmilla could feel her heart racing, her breathing quickening.

“Fine, Xena, you win.  I’ll delete the video,” she heard Theo say on the video.

She moved towards the edge of the stage, vaguely aware of the sea of people moving away from her.  Light enveloped the gym from the screen, prompting Carmilla to look up at the screen.  She wished she hadn’t.  There was Ell on the screen, a bright smile on her face like she was proud of what she had done.  Like she was proud of breaking Carmilla’s heart.  Carmilla looked towards Ell, but there wasn’t any emotion.  She just looked at her.  No remorse.  That was what killed Carmilla the worst.

She didn’t bother staying any longer.  She sprinted out of the gym as fast as she could, unable to take it any longer.  She fumbled with her keys in her pocket as she reached her car, her breathing coming in short gasps.  It felt as if her lungs were on fire.  She just needed to get far, far away from the university.  From Ell.  Finally, she got her keys out of her pocket and unlocked her car.

That was when she heard her.  A call from behind.  Carmilla turned slowly to see Laura rushing towards her, only slowing when Carmilla had turned.  Her eyes were red, tears running down her cheeks.  Blood was pounding in Carmilla’s ears, but she could read the young woman’s lips.

_I’m sorry._

Carmilla didn’t know how to feel.  _Did Laura know too?  Was she in on the entire thing too?_ Carmilla could only shake her head, getting into her car and speeding out of the parking lot.  She couldn’t stay.  She had to get away.  She had to get far away from everyone.  She knew it was too good to be true; she knew that it was too good to be this happy for so long.  Life was never going to allow her to be happy.  Nothing was going to bring her happiness.  She was doomed to be alone and sad for the rest of her life, and she was kidding herself if it was anything but that.

She didn’t care how fast she was going; she didn’t care if the cops came after her.  She’d rather be locked away than spend another minute at Silas University.  She had to get away.  She had to run away.  She was good at that.  She had always been good at running away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me! It's part of the story! I promise it'll get better!


	8. March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day's events hang over Laura and Carmilla. How will each adjust to their new lives following the disaster?

All Carmilla wanted to do was hide away from the world.  To disappear and never come back.  After the disaster that had been her relationship with Ell, no one blamed her for wanting to go incognito for a while.  News spread fast about what had happened on Valentine’s Day; everyone knew how much Carmilla was hurting.  They gave her the space, checking in on her every day to see if she wanted to talk to them.  She never wanted to.  Not even Mattie or Laura could break her from her state, and she considered the two to be her closest friends.

Basketball was probably the more difficult place for her to get back into a sense of normal.  Every day, Carmilla went to practice, and she had to see Ell.  She acted as if nothing had happened, but Carmilla could see the worry on her teammates’ faces.  Worried that she may break down or go off on Ell or someone else if the wrong thing was said.  So they let her be.  She didn’t blame them.  In all honesty, she wanted to destroy Ell and break Xena.  Oh the things she wanted to do to those two women; Ell for breaking her heart, and Xena for allowing it to happen in the first place.

Carmilla found herself sitting on the roof of her apartment, smoking a cigarette as her mind started to travel back to Valentine’s Day.  It was hard to imagine that her life had come tumbling down around her almost a month ago.  Insomnia had begun to take over, her mind continuing to run in circles.  When she was able to dream, only nightmares would appear.  She knew when she closed her eyes, she’d find herself staring at Ell and all of her mistakes again.  Her dreams had been plagued with such thoughts since the breakup, so her grouchiness from lack of sleep only added onto her change in demeanor.  She was finding herself living up to her nickname Broody.

A beep from her phone broke Carmilla out of her thoughts.  She looked down to see that it was Laura, sending a late night checkup text.  Even though she continued to push Laura and Mattie farther away, Laura wouldn’t allow her to push too far.  She would send texts that would allow a smile to creep in on Carmilla’s face; she’d appear with Carmilla’s favorite cookies, chocolate chip, on random days that Laura knew she would be home alone.  Taking one last drag off of her cigarette, she flicked it off of the roof and looked down at Laura’s message.

**_Laura:  Hey.  You still up?  I can’t sleep tonight._ **

Carmilla looked at the text, contemplating on what she should answer with.  She knew Laura was only looking out for her.  Hell, it was a lot better to hear from Laura every day than to let her dark thoughts take over her brain for the couple hours that they would during the day.

**_Carmilla:  Unfortunately.  Night’s clear, and it’s a bit warmer, but I’m still awake.  I’ve officially become the vampire._ **

It didn’t take long for Laura to respond.

**_Laura:  Well, you wear enough black that I’m surprised I haven’t seen your fangs yet._ **

Carmilla chuckled, laying back on the roof.  It didn’t surprise her that Laura always found some way to get a smile on her face, whether she wanted to or not.  Another beep signaled another text from Laura.

**_Laura:  So my friend JP is going to be in town tomorrow.  Want to meet him?_ **

**_Carmilla:  Another one of your journalist major friends?_ **

**_Laura:  Lol no.  JP’s a couple years older than me.  He graduated with a double major in History and Philosophy, so at least you guys can talk about that._ **

_A double major in History and Philosophy?  And I thought I was the lazy one._

**_Carmilla:  I don’t know.  Depends on the time._ **

**_Laura:  Coffee at two?_ **

Carmilla leaned her head back, thinking about Laura’s offer.  It wasn’t unusual for Laura to invite her to small get-togethers, but this one included meeting JP, a childhood friend that Carmilla had only heard small things about.  This was actually the first time in a couple months that Laura had even brought him up, even though they were supposedly the best of friends back in middle school.  Carmilla sighed, her darkening thoughts starting to take over once again.  She picked up her phone.

**_Carmilla:  I’ll meet you there._ **

* * *

 

“Laura, you’re doing it again.” 

Laura blinked, turning towards JP, who had a giant smile on his face.  Coffee was one of the many shared interests between the two, the list having grown over the years since their first interaction in fifth grade.  It was a memorable one to say the least; he had come to the rescue to save the damsel in distress from her bullies only to end up being bullied along with her.

_When Sara and the others finally left, Laura looked over to the young boy who had tried to come to her rescue.  She was surprised to find John Pierre Armitage was the one who had come to her “rescue.”  Known as the librarian’s pet, not too many found company with the boy.  He was scrawny, his hair a brown mess on top of his head.  He didn’t look any better now after Sara’s friends had taken turns punching him.  She stood up slowly and walked over to him, offering her hand to him._

_John Pierre looked up at her before taking her hand.  She smiled a little and helped him to his feet, helping to brush the dirt off of his jacket.  He looked at her timidly before looking down at his feet.  Laura could feel his insecurity and embarrassment, so she figured that it would be better to make use of the situation at least._

_“Hey, don’t be so down.  We didn’t get beat up that badly; maybe we actually came out better looking after this!” she said, her smile widening._

_John Pierre chuckled a little, finally looking up at her. “Pretty useless on my part though.  Try to save the girl, yet I’m the one who took most of the beating.”_

_Laura reached out, rubbing the boy’s shoulder. “Hey, you tried.  That’s all that matters,” she said before holding her hand out to him again. “I’m Laura.  Laura Hollis.”_

_John Pierre smiled, reaching out to shake her hand. “I know.  Everyone knows the one who sent the old principal packing because he was taking our candy funds away.” Laura blushed at the memory; one of her proudest, yet embarrassing moments of middle school. “I’m John Pierre Artimage, but everyone calls me JP.  Nice to finally meet you.”_

Laura looked at him confused.  “Doing what?”

JP tried his best to mimic her facial expression. “The I’m-thinking-about-someone-cute look you always do.”

Laura shook her head. “I don’t have that look, JP.  You’re just crazy.”

JP rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his coffee. “Uh huh.  Laura, I’ve been friends with you since fifth grade.  I swear I know your looks better than you sometimes.”  Laura rolled her eyes, looking back out the window of the coffee shop. “I’m guessing you’re wondering where your friend is, I assume?”

Laura nodded, looking down at her phone.  _3:36 pm._   It wasn’t like Carmilla to be late; she would usually text Laura to tell her if she was going to be late.  _Granted, she hadn’t been the best at responding since the whole Ell incident, but she would still at least let me know if something had come up._ A clinking sound from JP’s cup snapped Laura out of her thoughts.  She turned to face JP, whose expression had gone from playful to worried.

“Is this about Danny?  You know I can always figure out some way as to get back at the bitch for breaking your heart,” he suggested, his hand reaching out to cover Laura’s.

Laura smiled, shaking her head. “No, no…well kind of, I guess.  I don’t know.”

JP smiled. “How about we start from the beginning then?  Who are we waiting for?”

“Her name’s Carmilla.  Carmilla Karnstein.”

JP raised an eyebrow. “The star basketball player?  The one that’s been making news for being super aggressive as of late because of some relationship drama?”

Laura groaned softly before nodding. “Yeah, that’s the one.  Everything was going fine up until the bitch named Ell ruined it all.  She had been cheating on Carmilla, and everything came crashing down at the Valentine’s Day party when one of my former co-workers, Theo, broadcasted the video he got of Ell and some other girl making out to everyone in gym, Carmilla included.  Didn’t help that Danny knew about it and kept it to herself.”

JP narrowed his eyes. “Wait what?  That doesn’t sound like Danny.”

Laura leaned back against her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.  That was the same thought she had when she had first heard Danny’s voice on the video.  The conversation following Carmilla’s departure showed her a different Danny, one that Laura had no intention of being around any longer.

_She watched as Carmilla’s car squeal out of the parking lot, speeds rising as she sped away from the arena.  Laura raised her hand to her chest, a fist above her heart.  She couldn’t believe what just happened.  She felt like she was in a bad dream.  She couldn’t imagine how much pain Carmilla was in, but Laura knew she just had to do something.  She had to get home and change.  She had to find Carmilla, to be there for her._

_“Laura.”_

That voice.  _Laura turned slowly, hoping that it wouldn’t be who she thought it was, but it was.  There stood Danny, the guilty expression all over her face.  All Laura could feel was anger, her hands falling to her sides and clenching into fists._

_“How could you!” she shouted at Danny, taking a step back when Danny took a step towards her. “How could you let this happen?”_

_“I told Theo to delete the video, Laura.”_

_“Why didn’t you tell me?  Why didn’t you tell Carmilla?  How long have you even known about this, Danny?”_

_Danny looked down at her feet. “Right before Winter Break.”_

_Laura turned around, her hand going to her forehead._ Two months.  Danny kept this from me, from Carmilla, for two months. _“How could you?  TWO MONTHS DANNY!”_

_“I just-“_

_“You what?  Didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings?  Ell was cheating on Carmilla, and you let it continue!  She could’ve been saved this heartbreak, Danny!”_

_“And if I had let it happen, then maybe we wouldn’t have been together, Laura.”_

_Laura faltered, turning to face her girlfriend. “What are you talking about?  We were together before this video was even made.”_

_Danny’s eyes narrowed. “I saw how you two looked at each other, Laura.  Everyone did,” she said, looking down at her shoes. “If I had told Carmilla, then she would’ve left Ell, and you would’ve left me for her.  I couldn’t take the chance.”_

_Laura ran her hands through her hair. “Really?  Really, Danny?  I mean, I like Carmilla, but I was with you!”_

_It was then that it clicked in Laura’s mind._ I like Carmilla, but…in what way?  Do I…do I love her?  _Laura looked down at her hands.  She looked up at Danny, shook her head, and quickly walked past her.  Danny moved to grab her wrist, but Laura quickly pulled her arm out of reach._

_“Don’t.  Just…don’t,” Laura warned._

_“Laura please.  Just let me explain,” Danny pleaded._

_Laura backed away from Danny, shaking her head. “No, Danny.  We’re done.  We’re over.”_

_Laura turned away from Danny, quickly making her way back to her apartment.  She had to get away from Danny.  She had to find Carmilla._

“Yeah, well, it was Danny.  Either way, we’re done.”

“And you’re left pining over the heartbroken.”

“Am not!”

The smirk on JP’s face told Laura that she knew he was right.  She sighed, placing her face in her hands.  This wasn’t what she needed right now, especially since she was still waiting on Carmilla to show up.  Laura looked down at her phone and frowned.  _It’s almost four.  Where could she be?_ Laura looked through her contact list for Carmilla’s number, pressing the call button as soon as she pulled up the number.  It rang four or five times before the voicemail machine answered.  _Where was she?_

Looking through her contact list again, she pulled up Mattie’s number.  Mattie wasn’t her number one fan, but when it came to Carmilla, she always knew where to find the young woman.  She hit dial and waited a few rings before Mattie answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mattie.  It’s Laura.  Have you heard from Carmilla?” Laura asked.

There was a brief silence. “You mean you haven’t heard?  I thought you would’ve been the first to know.”

Laura looked at JP confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Carmilla’s missing, Laura.”

* * *

 

She didn’t know how long she had been sitting at the edge, but she knew hours had passed.  The night sky had appeared, the darkness a welcoming atmosphere.  She looked over the edge, down at the water below her.  The waves crashed against the earth, and it made her wonder how cold it would be if she were to land in them.  _Would it hurt when I jumped?_ It was the thoughts that had been plaguing her for the past few hours she had sat there, whether to jump or to stay.  She had listed all of the reasons on why she should jump, but there was always one reason why she never moved off of her spot and into the water. 

It was Laura.  No matter how much Carmilla tried, she couldn’t move off of the ledge and into the water because Laura was still on her mind.  _How upset would Laura be if she jumped?  Would she care?  Would she come looking for her?  Maybe she’d lean on Danny’s shoulder for support.  She wouldn’t care about me missing.  Maybe I should jump.  But what if she actually does care about me?_

“Carm?”

Carmilla shook her head.  Now her brain was just being cruel to her, mimicking Laura’s voice.  If she wasn’t crazy now, she was about to go crazy.  _No wonder Ell cheated on me.  I’m nothing to anyone.  Not even to those I love._

“Carm!”

Carmilla jumped when she felt hands wrap around her shoulders, pulling her back from the edge.  She looked up and was shocked to see Laura behind her.  The night was clear, allowing for the moon’s light to shine down on the two of them, and Carmilla could see the tear tracks on Laura’s cheek.  She felt Laura’s arms tighten around her, her shoulders shaking as she held onto Carmilla.

“I was…I was so worried…we were…we were looking everywhere for you,” Laura choked out, burying her face into Carmilla’s neck.

Slowly starting to get over her shocked state, Carmilla turned in Laura’s arms, wrapping her arms around Laura’s waist. “You…you were worried about me?” she asked softly.

Laura pulled back, cupping Carmilla’s cheeks in her hands. “Of course I was, Carm!  How could I not?”

Carmilla looked down, gently moving Laura’s hands off of her cheeks. “I’m no one, Laura.  I’m more of a blimp on people’s radars than anything.”

“Carm, that’s not true-“

Carmilla looked up at Laura. “Yes it is, Laura.  Look at my relationship with Ell.  Look at us!  There’s no one who truly cares for me like I do others.  I will never feel the love that I keep giving others.”

**_SLAP!_ **

Carmilla was suddenly looking at the tree a few meters to her right, her left cheek stinging from Laura’s slap.  Carmilla gently put her hand to her cheek before turning her attention back to Laura.  She found the young woman fuming, her cheeks red and tears running down her cheeks again.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” Laura shouted.  Carmilla raised her hand, moving to speak, when Laura brushed her off and continued. “There are so many people who care about you!  Mattie has been looking for you since you didn’t answer your phone!  LaF and Perry went door to door looking for you!  And here I am, trying to convince you to fucking snap out of it because if I lost you, then I’d go mad!”

Carmilla looked down at her hands. “Why?  You’ve known me since August, Laura; how could you care that much for someone you barely know?”

She felt Laura’s hands cup her cheeks, lifting her head up so that their eyes met.  Carmilla felt as if she were getting lost in Laura’s deep brown eyes when a pair of soft lips pressed hard against hers.  She froze for a moment, her brain slowly starting to catch up to the present, before her body responded.  She wrapped her arms around Laura’s waist as Laura’s arms found their place around her shoulders, kissing her back and her tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

They slowly pulled apart, their foreheads resting gently against each other.  They were silent, but it was a comfortable silence.  Laura’s arms pulled her closer, and she found herself feeling safer with each passing moment she stayed in Laura’s arms.

“I love you Carmilla Karnstein,” Laura said softly.  Carmilla slowly lifted her head to look at Laura, being met with a glowing smile. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a while.”

Carmilla chuckled a little, leaning forward to press a kiss to Laura’s lips. “I think I’ve been in love with you too.”

Laura smiled, pulling Carmilla into a tight hug.  For once, Carmilla didn’t feel alone.  She didn’t feel as if she was going to have to face the rest of her troubles by herself because she knew Laura would be there.  It just took her reaching her lowest point to realize that she had found something special in Laura.    She felt Laura rub her nose against the side of Carmilla’s head.

“We should head back and let everyone know that you’re ok.  There’ll be a lot of questions asked.”

Carmilla looked at Laura. “Be with me each step of the way?”

Laura smiled, leaning forward to place one more kiss on Carmilla’s lips. “I won’t leave your side, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm trying to debate on whether to make one or two last chapters following this one. It depends on the content I write, but the plan is for two. Let me know what you think!


	9. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's championship time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my favorite chapters to write...

Laura stretched in her bed as best she could; Carmilla’s sleeping figure was making it difficult to move.  Laura looked down at her girlfriend, a smile slowly creeping onto her face.  Carmilla had slept over at her apartment several times before earlier in the school year, but it was only after they had started dating did she look at peace while she slept.  Laura knew that if she brought it up, Carmilla would say that it was because she was sleeping next to Laura, but Laura knew it was because Carmilla was finally happy.  _Yes, I may have had a part in causing said happiness, but it wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t want to try and be happy._ Laura continued to watch Carmilla sleep, gently running her fingers through Carmilla’s hair.

Carmilla stirred, turning her face more towards Laura’s neck.  Her arms tightened around Laura’s waist as she groaned very softly.  Laura smiled gently, placing a soft kiss to the top of Carmilla’s head.  It was Saturday morning; most of their plans were either in the afternoon or later that evening, leaving the morning all to themselves.  Laura found herself wishing more for mornings like this more and more.  It left her feeling complete waking up with Carmilla wrapped around her.

“Why are you so awake right now?” Carmilla whispered softly.

Laura gently ran her fingers down Carmilla’s neck and back. “Body just wanted to wake up, I guess.  I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

Carmilla shrugged, keeping her face buried in Laura’s neck. “You should go back to sleep so that I can go back to sleep.”

“That may be a problem if I’m wide awake, Carm.”

“You can at least try, Cupcake.”

Laura chuckled, rolling them over so that she was over Carmilla.  She placed a peck on Carmilla’s lips before getting out of bed.  She heard Carmilla groan at the loss of warmth as she left for the bathroom.  Laura smiled to herself as she made her way towards the bathroom.  Today was the debate tournament, but Carmilla was also leaving to go play in the national tournament.  She hated thinking about how they were going to be so far apart, but that was the price they paid for both of their teams excelling this year.  Thankfully, Carmilla wasn’t scheduled to leave until later this afternoon, so at least they could go get lunch together before she had to finish up packing.

After relieving herself, she made her way back into her room, finding Carmilla awake and staring up at the ceiling.  She had her thinking face on, which could be a good or a bad sign, depending on what Carmilla’s current mood was.  Laura laid down next to her, snuggling back underneath the covers and wrapping her arm around Carmilla’s waist.  She watched as Carmilla continued to stare at the ceiling, smiling when she felt her girlfriend’s arm wrap around her waist.

“What are you thinking about?” Laura asked softly.

Carmilla shrugged. “Just some things.  Stuff that my therapist brought up.”

After Carmilla’s breakdown, several things happened at once.  Laura was able to convince Carmilla to go see a therapist, giving her an option to speak with someone about thoughts that she wouldn’t even speak to Laura about.  With Mattie’s help, Coach Morgan was brought up to speed as to what Ell had been doing to Carmilla over the past few months.  Horrified by what was happening under her nose, she had given Ell an ultimatum:  either attend AA meetings and seek help in regards to anger management, or risk being kicked off the team.  Ell had chosen the former, but that didn’t stop the coach from suspending her until further notice.  Carmilla had cried in Laura’s arms later that night, thankful for the nightmare finally being over.

Laura gently ran her fingertips across Carmilla’s stomach.  She smiled when she heard Carmilla’s stomach growl. “Hungry?”

“Maybe…”

Laura chuckled, leaning over her girlfriend to gently kiss her. “Come on then.  I’ll make those blueberry pancakes you love so much.”

Carmilla smiled at her, and Laura couldn’t help but feel her heart beat faster.  Everything about being with Carmilla made her happy, and every passing moment with her only made her believe it more.  _How did I get so lucky to find someone like her?_

* * *

 

“Everything on the bus?” Coach Morgan called out. 

“Everything’s on the bus, Coach.  Just gotta get the players on,” answered one of her assistants, Laura wasn’t sure which though.

She was currently standing with Carmilla on the sidewalk, watching the other players say their goodbyes.  There was a planned send-off by the community, but the athletic department had allowed for the players their private goodbyes before loading up the bus.  Laura wrapped her arms around Carmilla’s waist, pulling her close in hopes of finding some way to keep Carmilla close by.  She felt Carmilla’s arms wrap around her shoulders, hugging her just as tightly.

“I’m going to miss you, Carm,” Laura whispered softly into Carmilla’s collar.

“I’m going to miss you too, Cupcake.  I know you’ll kick but at your debate tournament.”

Laura smiled, hugging Carmilla tighter. “And you’re going to make it all the way to the finals, right?”

“If we play well enough, then yeah we will.  But in order to do that, I need to breathe, Cupcake.  You’re making it kind of hard to right now with your hugs.”

Laura relaxed her grip but refused to release her hold on her girlfriend. “Maybe I don’t want you to go yet.”

“Cupcake, I have to though, just like you have to go for your tournament.”

Laura sighed, slowly releasing her hold, her lower lip sticking out in a pout.  Carmilla gently cupped her cheeks, lifting her chin so that she was looking into warm, dark brown eyes. “I promise, the sooner you go kick some ass at the tournament, the sooner we’ll be back together.  If we win tonight, then we’ll play in two days.  If we win there, then we get to move on to the quarterfinals, which means you’ll be able to travel with me to that.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart, Cupcake.”

Laura nodded, wrapping her arms around Carmilla’s neck and placing a soft kiss on her lips. “I love you, Carm.”

Carmilla smiled, wrapping her arms around Laura’s waist and lifting her into the air as she returned the kiss. "I love you too, Laura.”

“Karnstein!  Let’s get a move along!” Laura heard Coach Morgan call.

Carmilla set Laura back down on her feet, turning towards the bus. “Coming!”  She turned back to Laura, placing a light kiss on her forehead. “I’ll see you soon, love.”

Laura smiled softly, nodding. “Ok.  See you soon.”

She watched as Carmilla ran off and climbed aboard the charter bus.  She watched the bus, and her heart, leave the parking lot.  She knew that she would be able to talk to Carmilla soon, but saying good-bye was never easy.

* * *

 

Carmilla leaned back into her seat, watching out the window as Silas University got smaller and smaller in her view.  She smiled sadly, knowing that her heart was waiting back on the campus.  She hated being away from Laura, but it comforted her knowing that Laura felt the same way.  After months of suffering through what-ifs, she could see what it was like to be happy, to be with someone who made her happier than she had been in a long time. 

“Seat taken?”

Carmilla turned her head at the question, surprised to find Danny standing in the isle.  She sat up, shaking her head.  She hadn’t spoken directly to her since the fiasco that was Valentine’s Day, though many understood her reasons as to why not.  She watched Danny sat beside her, her hands clasped together in front of her as she refused to look at Carmilla.  Carmilla could feel her anxiety start to rise, worried as to where this could potentially lead to, when Danny finally spoke up.

“So you and Laura…are a thing now?”

Carmilla nodded. “Yeah.  We are.”

Danny nodded, still looking down at her hands.  A moment of silence passed through again before she spoke up. “She deserves the best.”

“That she does."

“Can you give her that?” 

Carmilla narrowed her eyes at Danny. “What are you suggesting?”

“That she deserves the best, Carmilla.  I’m trusting you to give her the best.”

Carmilla looked at Danny. “I intend to, Danny.  She means the world to me.”

Danny nodded. “Just…I’m sorry about everything that happened.  I didn’t mean for it to happen like it did.  I just…I wanted to keep Laura safe.  I’m sorry I hurt you like I did.”

Carmilla stared at Danny.  After a silent moment, she gently placed her hand on the young woman’s shoulder.  Startled, Danny turned her attention to Carmilla, to be met by a smile.  Danny looked at her confused.

“I forgive you,” Carmilla said, the smile never disappearing. “Now, let’s go kick some ass and bring home a championship.”

Danny stared at Carmilla for a minute before a smile appeared on her face. “You got it.”

* * *

 

Ten seconds and down two points, the situation was looking grim for the Lady Vampires.  They had taken their last timeout, and the mood in the huddle wasn’t uplifting.  Even Mel, a player that would push with all her might in every game she played, had sunken into a saddened mood.  Carmilla looked around her huddle, trying to figure out anything to lift their spirits.  Biting her lip at her frustration, she looked up towards the crowd, her eyes searching for Laura.  She found her standing with Perry and LaF, a smile on her face. 

They had won their tournament with flying colors, bring home Silas’s first debate championship.  She had ended the year on a high note, and Carmilla was not about to let her have that hanging over her head.  She looked around at her teammates, clapping her hands together to bring their attention in on her.

“Alright, ladies, lift your heads up.  We’re in the championship.  It may not matter at all later on down the road, but it matters now.  If we give up now, then what was the point of getting here?  Let’s show everyone in this arena what we’re made of.  Let’s show them the beauty of trying.  Let’s show them how hard we’ve worked to become champions.  Let’s show the debate team, who are already champions, that we can win too,” she said, putting her hand in the middle of the huddle.

With a smile on each of their faces, the rest of the team followed suit.  They cheered Lady Vampires and the players made their way back out onto the court.  Carmilla took a deep breath and let it out.  She looked around her, looking for what lanes were open for her.  The whistle sounded, and she took off for the first opening that she saw.  Her opponent was too slow on her reaction, giving Carmilla a step ahead of her.  Mattie, who was inbounding the ball, saw the reaction and passed the ball towards Carmilla when she had reached the three-point line.

_All or nothing._   Carmilla caught the ball and turned to her right.  She faked a shot, causing her defender to leap too early into the air.  Ducking under her arm, Carmilla dribbled once to her left, jumped into the air, and shot the ball towards the basket.  Her eyes were on the ball, the sound of the buzzer in the back of her mind.  She watched the ball hit the back of the rim then the front before going through the net.  The arena erupted into a roar.

Carmilla found herself on the floor, her teammates jumping on top of her as they cheered in her ears.  She laughed with them, watching as the confetti fell from the roof of the arena.  After the laughter and screaming was done, her teammates helped her feet, and she found the court being overrun by the fans.  She scanned the screaming crowd, ignoring the waves and screams around her as she searched for one face.

Then she saw her.  Laura was pushing her way towards her, the difficulty increasing as she tried to move closer towards Carmilla.  Seeing her struggle, Carmilla pushed past the fans.  Seeing Laura’s smile widen as she got closer, Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura’s waist and lifted her into the air, spinning her around.  She could hear Laura laugh in her ear, her own laugh escaping as she set her girlfriend down.  As Laura’s feet touched the ground, her arms wrapped around Carmilla’s neck, pulling her into a kiss, and Carmilla felt like she was flying.

“I’m so proud of you,” Laura said as they pulled back slightly.

Carmilla rubbed her nose against Laura’s. “I couldn’t let you out do me in championships, Cupcake.”

Laura rolled her eyes, kissing Carmilla’s cheek as the announcer stated that the awards ceremony would be starting shortly.  Carmilla gave Laura an apologetic look before heading towards the stage where the rest of her teammates were waiting for her.  Mattie and Danny were smiling at her; even Mel couldn’t help but smile with them.  Carmilla rolled her eyes, a small smile escaping beyond her control.

This was the senior year she had always dreamed about, and she knew that it was only going to get better from here.

* * *

 

The celebration party was the following weekend.  A group of the seniors had managed to rent out one of the popular bars downtown for the party.  The bar itself was located in a renovated theater building, their most popular night being karaoke night.  Laura had left for the party before Carmilla, wanting to keep a close eye on LaF as Perry finished up the last of her missed assignments.  

Carmilla huffed as she made her way into her apartment.  She had just returned from an interview with a scout from Chicago Sky, one of few teams interested in drafting her.  With her tournament performance, her odds of being drafted were increasing every day, yet she wasn’t as ecstatic as she thought she would have been.  This was her dream, to be a professional basketball player, but now she just felt conflicted.  She shook her head, changing into a comfortable pair of leather pants, a skull t-shirt, and denim vest.  _I’m just confusing myself.  I can think about this later when I talk with Laura about it._

Just the thought of Laura sent butterflies through her stomach.  Even as she arrived to the bar, her smile was still on her face.  Making sure to lock her car, Carmilla crossed the street and made her way to the front doors.  The bouncer nodded to her, opening the door for her.  She smirked at the people still waiting in line to enter the bar, thankful for her bouncer connections in Silas.  As she made her way into the bar, her head was on a swivel as she searched for her girlfriend.

LaF and Perry found her first.  They wrapped their hands around her arms and practically dragged her over to a table.  Her confusion only rose when she saw Xena and Mel waiting at the table.  Carmilla looked from LaF to Perry and back again, waiting on an explanation to come from either of their mouths.  Only smiles were their answers.  They sat her down at the table, positioning her so that she was facing towards the stage.  Ready to tear their heads off from the silent maneuvering, Carmilla moved to start yelling when the stage lights flickered on.  Carmilla looked up at the stage, surprised to see Laura sitting on a stool behind a microphone in front of her.

She smiled at Carmilla before turning her head to the right to look at JP, who was sitting behind a piano, and Mattie, who stood behind JP with a violin.  JP started to play softly, a tune that rang familiar to Carmilla’s ears but couldn’t place right away.  It was then that she heard Laura start to sing, and it felt like she was being mesmerized by Laura’s voice.

_Much as you blame yourself, you can’t be blamed for the way that you feel_

_Had no example of a love that was even remotely real_

_How can you understand something that you never had_

_If you let me, I can help you out with all of that_

_Let me love you_

_And I will love you_

_Until you learn to love yourself_

_Let me love you_

_I know your trouble_

_Don’t be afraid, oh I can help_

_Let me love you_

_And I will love you_

_Until you learn to love yourself_

_Let me love you_

_A heart of numbness, gets brought to life_

_I’ll take you there_

The party, full of chatter when Carmilla had arrived, had silenced as the occupants turned their full attention to Laura.  Her voice sounded like an angel to Carmilla’s ears, and she couldn’t help but move out of her seat slowly and towards Laura.  Seeing Carmilla’s reaction, Laura smiled as she continued to sing.

_I can see the pain behind your eyes_

_It’s been there for quite a while_

_I just wanna be the one to remind you what it is to smile_

_I would like to show you what true love can really do_

_Let me love you_

_And I will love you_

_Until you learn to love yourself_

_Let me love you_

_I know your trouble_

_Don’t be afraid, oh I can help_

_Let me love you_

_And I will love you_

_Until you learn to love yourself_

_Let me love you_

_A heart of numbness, gets brought to life_

_I’ll take you there_

Carmilla’s feet moved her on their own accord, closer and closer to the stage.  The sea of people in front of her divided as she walked past them.  She vaguely noticed their smiles; only Laura’s was the brightest.  Laura watched as Carmilla made her way onto the stage and towards her, her voice singing the ending of the song softly.

_Let me love you_

_And I will love you_

_Until you learn to love yourself_

_Let me love you_

_I know your trouble_

_Don’t be afraid, oh I can help_

Laura smiled as JP and Mattie finished playing, her eyes still on Carmilla’s.  Carmilla stared at Laura, mouth slightly ajar, as she continued to rack her brain for any thought, any compliment she could give.  She was sure she looked like a love-struck teenager, and she didn’t care.

“Cupcake, you’re amazing,” she finally said, placing her hands gently on Laura’s cheeks and leaning in to kiss her.

She vaguely remembered the cheers that erupted in the theater afterwards, but she was too drunk off of Laura’s performance and the kiss afterwards.  She was too caught up in the thought that finally her life was coming together.  As she leaned back to look at Laura, she finally knew where she belonged in life:  with Laura Hollis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...but it's not my number one favorite chapters. That title goes to next week's chapter. Yes, next week is the final chapter of Playing in Your Court, so stay tuned! Make sure to follow me on tumblr: libs1317.


	10. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduation is today; are Carmilla and Laura ready for life post Silas?

Well, today was the day.  Graduation from college.  The day Laura had been looking forward to for the past four years.  Today she should have felt like she was on top of the world; she had finished the last day of classes, she was in love with and dating the love of her life, and she already had a job lined up as the lead reporter for Silas News, the premier news station in Silas.  So why wasn’t she ecstatic as she looked through her various dress options?  It was all because of Carmilla.

The WNBA draft had come and gone, but the biggest yet not as big surprise was that Carmilla had been drafted first overall to the Los Angeles Sparks, all the way on the other side of the nation.  That meant that Carmilla would be living on the other side of the nation and traveling a lot.  It also meant that Laura would have to be working around her schedule to see Carm during the season.  Yes, the offseason would be full of Carmilla cuddles, cute dates, and long vacations, but it was during the season that Laura knew she would miss Carm the most.

She sighed as she sat down on her bed.  They had talked about keeping in touch with each other for the past couple weeks, but it left a pit in Laura’s stomach nonetheless.  All this time that she had spent ignoring her feelings for Carm, the one moment of happiness was suddenly ripped out from underneath her by the draft.  She was happy for Carm; this was the dream she’d had since she was a little girl disobeying her father’s controlling behavior, but it still hurt knowing that she wouldn’t be able to wake up in her girlfriend’s arms in a few weeks.

A knock at her door broke her from her thoughts.  Laura looked up to see Carmilla leaning against the doorframe in a sleek black dress.  Laura blinked a couple times, stunned by the current image in front of her.  Carm blushed a little at Laura’s stunned expression, looking down at the dress.

“If you don’t like it, I can go-“ she began to say when Laura quickly cut her off.

“No, no, no!  I like it!” she blurted out, hands shaking in front of her.  She could feel her face get warmer when Carmilla looked at her with an innocent look that made her even more beautiful the more Laura stared at her. “You look beautiful.”

Carmilla smiled shyly at her. “Thanks Cupcake.” She looked at the dresses laid out beside Laura. “You going to change sometime soon?”

Laura looked at the dresses beside her and nodded. “Yeah.  I just…have had a lot on my mind recently.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow slightly, walking over to sit on Laura’s left. “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Is this about the draft again?”

“Maybe…”

Carmilla smiled softly at Laura, taking her hand gently in her own. “Laura, even if I move to the other side of the nation, I’m not going to let you go.”

Laura looked down at their joined hands, gently rubbing her thumb over Carmilla’s hand. “It’s just…it took us so long to get here, and the thought of you moving so far away…it scares me.”

Carmilla smiled, leaning over to kiss Laura’s cheek. “Cupcake, you’re not going to lose me.  We’ve got all these Skype dates set up, and you’ll have tickets to each game I have on the East Coast.  When the offseason comes, then we can go away to Europe for weeks at a time together.”

Laura smiled at the idea of European getaways. “Like Paris.  Staying off the grid a while, living in little apartments.  Just the two of us.”

Carmilla smiled, kissing Laura softly. “Anything you want, Cupcake.  I’m down for it all.”

Laura smiled back, returning the kiss as she felt Carmilla’s arms wrap around her waist.  More than anything, this was where she wanted to be.  As she let Carmilla talk her into finally getting ready to leave for graduation, Laura couldn’t help but think back to the job offer laying in her dresser, one that would allow her to work with the marketing department of the Los Angeles Sparks.  It had arrived just after she had taken the job at Silas News, but now she knew where she wanted to be, and that was with Carmilla.  _Now I just need to figure out the best time to tell her._

* * *

 

Due to what she was assuming to be LaF’s meddling, Laura found herself sitting beside her ginger friends as the graduation ceremony began.  The gymnasium was filled with family members and friends, joy spreading through the arena as the soon-to-be graduates took their seats.  Carmilla was the only one that wasn’t sitting with them; she had been asked to speak in front of the graduating class as a guest speaker.  Laura wasn’t too surprised about it.  Carm had just delivered the first women’s basketball championship to Silas, so she would remain the talk of the town for a long time.  From her seat, Laura could see Carmilla fidgeting in her seat near the front, probably eager to get up, speak quickly, and then to get on with the graduation ceremony. 

“Relax, Laura.  Getting as anxious as Carmilla is up front won’t make the ceremony go any faster,” Perry said, a gentle smile on her face as she squeezed LaF’s hand.

“Yeah, what Per said,” LaF echoed, a smile on their face.

Laura rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to the President of Silas University.  He was introducing Carmilla up as the next speaker.  Laura cheered with the rest of the students, her heart racing as she watched Carmilla take the stage for her speech.  It took a few minutes for the arena to quiet down, which seemed to increase Carm’s visible anxiety, but when her eyes met Laura’s, the tension fell away from her shoulders.

“I’d like to thank you all for letting me speak to you today on one of the most important days of our lives,” she began, a little stutter to her voice. “For those of you who don’t know, my name is Carmilla Karnstein.  Yes, the basketball player, but I’m more than just a basketball player.  I’m an ordinary person, just like each and every one of you.”

Carmilla looked once more in Laura’s direction before continuing. “I’m an ordinary person who’s had a lot of different opportunities placed in front of her.  Ask anyone who knows me; they’ll tell you that just this past year alone, I’ve had my ups and my downs.  I wouldn’t be where I am now without my friends to help pick me up when I was at my worst yet bring me down to earth when I was at my best.  They’ve helped me stay me, and I’m so grateful for their constant support.”

Carmilla took a deep breath in, setting her notecards down on the podium. “There’s one person, though, who has helped change me for the better in just a few months, and that person is Laura Eileen Hollis, my girlfriend.” Laura watched as Carm smiled when the words fell from her lips. “I can, without doubt, count each and every single time she has caught me when I’ve fallen.  Without her, I wouldn’t be standing here on this stage in front of you all.”

Carmilla looked out amongst the crowd and took a deep breath in. “She taught me a very important lesson:  even in the darkest moments, the smallest of lights can brighten your world.  It’s the little things we tend to look over the most, and the biggest things are the ones that we seem to lose ourselves in.”

Carmilla turned her attention to Laura, a sly smile on her face.  An instant shot of confusion shot through Laura’s mind.  _What is she-_ “For all of you who know, I was drafted first overall in the past WNBA draft by the Los Angeles Sparks,” Carmilla started, her hands gently gripping the sides of the podium. “I will not be joining them.  Instead, I will be returning to Silas next year as the Assistant Head Coach to Lilita Morgan for the Women’s Basketball Team while working part time on my Master’s in Psychology.”

Some people gasped; some people applauded.  Laura stared wide-eyed and mouth ajar at Carmilla, unable to comprehend what had just been announced.  Seeing Laura’s reaction, Carmilla winked at her. “There’s only one place I want to be in this world, and that’s with the people I love.  I thank you all for letting me speak to you today, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Carmilla allowed the President to return to the podium before taking her leave off the stage, all the while Laura’s eyes followed her.  Laura couldn’t believe what she had just heard.  _Carmilla’s staying in Silas.  Carmilla’s staying in Silas.  CARMILLA’S STAYING IN SILAS._

Talk about a way to go out with a bang.

* * *

 

“How long were you keeping that a secret?” 

“Since right after the draft, after our first talk.”

“So you let me continue to think you were going to go move to Los Angeles for two weeks.  TWO WEEKS, CARM!”

“Hey, I’m not moving.  That’s what counts.”

Laura shook her head.  The two of them were sitting in Laura’s apartment, waiting for her dad to arrive with dinner. “And here I thought I was going to be the one to surprise you.”

Carmilla looked at her confused. “What are you talking about?”

Laura stood up, heading to her room before returning a few minutes later with the job offer from the Los Angeles Sparks in her hand. “I had spoken with the Management Director a couple days after you were drafted.  This came in the day after I had already accepted the Silas job.”

Carmilla gently took the offer and looked it over. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I was going to surprise you!”

Carmilla laughed, handing the offer back to Laura. “Well, I could always call them back, but I like the path that’s laid out in front of us a lot better.” Laura nodded, setting the offer down on the table. “What’s wrong?”

Laura was quiet for a few moments before speaking up. “You gave up playing basketball.  For me.” She could feel the tears starting to rise to her eyes.

Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura, gently pulling her close as she rubbed her nose against Laura’s neck. “I’d rather never play another game of basketball than to be thousands of miles away from you, Laura.  I love you.”

Laura smiled, her heart racing. “I love you too.”

They continued to cuddle close, even after Sherman returned with dinner in his hands.  Their night was filled with laughter and love with the occasional “Don’t hurt my daughter” thrown in every once in a while.  Laura wasn’t sure if this was what heaven was like, but she knew it was the closest she’d get to it.

* * *

 

**_15 years later_ ** ****

“Mom!  We’re going to be late!”

Carmilla groaned as she heard her eldest yelling down the hall.  She had never been a morning person, and it was telling which mother their children took the most after.  _Definitely not me, or we’d all still be asleep right now._

13 years of marriage and three children later, there were days Carmilla felt like ripping her hair out of her head, but she knew that she wouldn’t have changed anything.  Carmilla and Laura were engaged the December after they had graduated, a romantic early Christmas surprise that Carmilla had planned out.  She had made sure to get Sherman’s permission and was surprised to find out how helpful the man was in planning the surprise for Laura.  They had married in a small ceremony the following July.  Laura had planned a majority of the wedding, leaving Carmilla to only have to do her tuxes.  The day of the wedding, Carmilla was sure she was going to pass out from the lack of oxygen to her brain; seeing Laura in her dress left Carmilla breathless.

The following year, they were expecting, thanks to Kirsh acting as a donor.  Riley Karnstein-Hollis was born December 10th, the anniversary of their engagement, and she was the most beautiful baby Carmilla had ever seen.  She was a mini Carmilla in almost every way possible, and Carm’s heart melted for the girl.  As she grew older, she fell in love with basketball, and soon tradition was born in the Karnstein-Hollis household.  It was the main reason why Riley was yelling at her mother to get out of bed; a camp she was signed up for was scheduled to start in the next hour and a half, and Carmilla had still not arisen.

“Mom, come on!  Mama already left with Mattie, so you have to take me to the camp!” Riley yelled, shaking her mother’s arm.

Mattie, named after her godmother, was the second oldest of the children born three years after Riley, and whereas Riley was a mini Carmilla, Mattie was a mini Laura.  The only trait that she seemed to have gotten from Carmilla was her stubbornness.  Sometimes Carmilla would tell Laura that Mattie got it from Laura, but she would always say that it reminded everyone too much of Carmilla.  Today, Laura had taken Mattie to the local museum for a new art display that was only to be open for the next couple weeks.

“Ok, ok. I’m up, I’m up.  Go check on your brother, and I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” Carmilla said as she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Then there was Kurt, their youngest and only son.  He had just turned two years old last month and was already a handful.  It only seemed fitting that he would be named after his donor and godfather, but sometimes Carmilla could only dread what the future would hold for them if he continued to show anymore Kirsh signs.  As Riley left to go check on Kurt, Carmilla moved to get dressed.

It was one of her free weekends from the Silas Women’s Basketball team, but basketball was never too far away.  After Lilita’s retirement ten years ago, Silas was quick to hire Carmilla as her replacement.  Several jobs offers, including a few at the professional level, had come in during her tenure, but her family was here.  She had managed to successfully create a powerhouse at Silas, and they were consistently ranked in the top five programs.  Every once in a while, she would hear talk about her future induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame, but she knew that it was a long shot, just as everything else was.

Carmilla made her way down the stairs, heading to the kitchen to try and get a cup of coffee down before her daughter would drag her out to the car.  She rubbed her face, listing off her to do list in her head as she drank her coffee.  She was to meet up with Mattie for lunch; Mattie had graduated at the top of her law class, choosing to stay in Silas to manage her own firm.  Later that day she was to meet up with LaF and Perry to help pick out new furniture for their house.  They had just recently moved down the street, finding it a better neighborhood for their children Margaret and Aero.  LaF had gone to become a successful medical researcher who was on the verge of curing smaller cancers, and Perry had become the President of Silas University.  It still surprised Carmilla that Perry was technically her boss now.

“I’m ready!” Riley announced as she walked into the kitchen, her basketball bag slung over her shoulder and her baby brother held in her arms.

Carmilla smiled, taking Kurt from Riley’s arms.  He squealed at the transfer, grabbing ahold of Carmilla’s shirt.  She looked at Riley. “Go on and head out to the car.  I need to grab his bag real quick,” she said as she handed Riley the keys.

Riley nodded, a smile on her face as she ran out to the Ford Focus.  Carmilla rolled her eyes and walked to Kurt’s room to grab his baby bag and walked down the hallway towards the front door.  She stopped when she was about to pass two pictures.  On the left was a picture of Carmilla, Laura, and their friends at a post-graduation party, smiles on all of their faces.  The picture on the right was taken right after Kurt’s first birthday and featured the entire Karnstein-Hollis family.  Carmilla smiled as Kurt tugged on her shirt.

She had been looking for her place in life, and she had finally found it thanks to her friends.  She had a family that loved her, and three beautiful children who she would give the world for.  None of this could have happened had she not ran into Laura Hollis senior year of college.  She looked down at Kurt, his big smile that reminded her so much of Laura shining up at her.

“I’m such a lucky lady,” Carmilla whispered to Kurt as she walked out of the house, content with the life she had finally found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has followed this story. I absolutely love this pair, and writing about them is a great pleasure. I hope you enjoyed this story and will subscribe for any future works! If you don't already, follow me on tumblr: libs1317.


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